Everything’s Laid Out

Well I guess my parents told my brother about my pregnancy. It was sure nice of them to let me know they were telling him so I could have been prepared for the nasty email. I knew it was going to be bad, but it seems like they told him EVERY detail about what is going on in my life, money, pregnancy, everything. You can tell this once you read it....which I am letting everyone do. This way you can see what I deal with. This is why I don't have anything to do with him and why I always call my parents ahead of time before going over to visit to make sure he isn't there. I put a blog up last year from the email he sent me about not coming to Thanksgiving. In case you would like to read that as well. The title of that blog is 'my brother my problem' But here and now, here is what he sent me....enjoy:

Well I hope you're proud of yourself. You are a real winner as we all know. Congratulations. your life will now go nowhere. Not that it was going anywhere before. You have to be the most pathetic, selfish person I know. I would disown now except I'd already done that sometime ago. I will for sure pray for your child and pray that it will get some good parents who will actually raise it in a good home, not a house that cost $4,000 in the ghetto. I am going to school where when I graduate I will be making about $20 an hour. Just thought I'd let you know. So how much do you make? O wait your living below the poverty line and using medicaid. Nice Lindsey. Just think, at one point in time you were a sister in our church and could have gone somewhere. Too bad you blew it. I have faith Ashleigh won't tread down YOUR path. Of course there's still hope for you. But not as long as your with shit for brains. Yes please let him know I called him that. Someday I hope to get married and start a family with a decent Christian woman. Basically the criteria will be anyone not like you. So that narrows it down quite a bit. So I hope you're doing well otherwise. Maybe we can hang out sometime. Except I don't know if you have enough gas money to get out here. So maybe not. Well that's all for me. Have a good night.

Getting Kinda Nervous

Wow, so I'm really pregnant and I have this little life growing inside of me. This is just starting to really sink in now. I am responsible enough to be in charge of another human? I don't know, but I better figure it out quick!! I have felt little things in my belly, but I don't know if it's my little guy or just gas, cause for some reason I have been really gasy lately, I know too much info. I hope it's my guy. The thought of Vince supporting all three of us is really starting to get me nervous too. I added up all the bills and Vince doesn't make that much a month, plus child support will be coming out of his check soon and then that's even less money that we'll have. I'm so scared. I asked my parents if I could buy my grandma's car off of them and then sell my grand am to get rid of the loan I owe on it to CEFCU. That would save us a little money since my dad won't charge me interest. Also, I need to sell this frigin' house!! We want to sell it for the amount of the loan we have on it so we can get rid of that loan as well. But I don't know if people would be willing to pay $13,000 for a house in the south side that needs a lot of work. I've looked at other houses that were fixer uppers, and ours is decent, it still has it's walls up and some new cabinets and paint on the walls, but what we are asking is a lot of money, to me anyway. Who knows, maybe someone will want to turn it into a rental property. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but if we ever want to buy a nice house not in Peoria, we need my good credit. Vince has really bad credit so even if he makes lots of money, which he doesn't, how are we ever going to get a house loan? We won't unless I work and have the loan under both our names. I just want to take care of our baby. I just hope things start going right.

Getting Excited

I haven't had the chance to blog in a long time, or so it seems to me. Our internet was turned off as was our cable tv. But yet, they are still sending me bills for the month that I wasn't even allowed to use them, stupid Comcast!! So I'm going to the library or using people's wi-fi when I park outside their houses, shhh....don't tell. But anyway, things have changed a little. Vince has a job, thank goodness. He also is recruiting someone from his work to help with the new house and hopefully get it done soon. We haven't done any work on it for months now. The rain that we had last weekend...ummm yeah our ceiling caved in in the second bedroom from all the water and now it REALLY stinks in this house. I cannot wait to move!!

I'm not feeling so sick anymore, haven't thrown up for a few weeks now. I got my first sonogram last week and we are having a little boy!! I did want a girl, but I'll get over it. Now I'm getting excited though. I was so planning on having an epidural, but my mom told me she didn't have one with any of us 4 kids, so now I don't know if I should either. I guess I'll just see how bad the pain is once I get to that point. Won't be for a few more months though. My belly finally popped, but I'm still trying to hide it from my work, so I'm still wearing the baggy shirts, lol!! I've already gained 10 pounds and and hoping not too much more. I don't like looking like a whale, but I just keep hoping it'll be a 30 pound baby, lol, just kidding (that would really hurt)