'Back to Sleep'

'Back to Sleep' - This is the phrase used to remind parents to lay their babies on their backs to reduce the risk of SIDS. I always laid Logan on his back and he never had an issue with it, and I felt better knowing my son was that much safer from dying from SIDS. The girls are a different story. Just like I did with Logan, I laid both girls on their back and tucked a blanket into the sides of the cribs that covered them. Anna is my impatient baby and who we are now calling the 'evil twin'. Haha, I love her, but one day Aimee was crying waiting for me to make her bottle and Anna spit out her paci and just smiled. We think she liked hearing her sister so troubled, which is why we are calling her evil. Anyway, it is difficult to make Anna content. My mom suggested I try laying her on her tummy. My mom had done it a couple of nights while she was here and Anna slept like, well, like a baby. I was pretty resistant to at it first, but today I caved. I laid Anna on her tummy and she instantly calmed down and went to sleep. Beautiful silence.

You may think I'm risking my daughter's well being, but you would have to know what I have been dealing with the last few days. There hasn't been a single minute in the last few days that one of the girls has not been fussy. I don't think I've put the girls down to sleep for five minutes before the other one starts crying. I wish I could explain this better so you could understand what it's like. I haven't been able to get any cleaning done, any food made or given Logan any attention at all during the past few days because the girls are demanding our attention. We are constantly holding them since they refuse to calm down. To be completely honest, I'm getting sick of these girls. I just want to leave them in their room and let them cry sometimes. They have changed our lives so much and I just need a break. Everyone says to take a nap while they nap, well that isn't possible with a two year old. I'm exhausted and have just been eating what I can grab, which hasn't been very healthy and I'm gaining some weight. I hate it! At this very moment, Anna is sleeping in her crib laying on her tummy and Vince is sitting next to me watching tv while holding Aimee, who is wide awake. She refuses to go to sleep.

On to happier things, the girls recently had a WIC appointment and Anna is weighing 8lbs 13 oz and is 20 1/4 inches. Aimee is 7lbs 11 oz and 20 inches. Aimee needs to catch up with her sister. I know they are the exact same age, but I think of Anna as the older sister. I'm not sure why. She seems to be a little ahead of Aimee in everything right now. Anna eats more, her cry has changed a little already and she is doing better at holding up her head. I've also started dressing her in 0-3 month clothes, while Aimee is still in newborn. I love them both, but because I've put this mental thought that Anna is older, I tend to be a little more careful with Aimee. I don't know why.

Logan had a good Christmas. He got lots of presents and I'm going to go through all his toys and sell some of his older ones. There is a no reason a two year old needs so many toys. This year hasn't felt very Christmasy to me at all. I think it's because I've been so busy with the girls and I just haven't been able to enjoy the season at all. I'm hoping next year will be better. Both girls are finally asleep and Vince and I are going to watch a movie before the girls wake up, which will probably be in 30 minutes....

The Potty

The potty is my nemesis. I've been trying for a couple weeks now to potty train Logan and he still has yet to even pee in the potty. My thought is if I can just get him to pee in it once and make a huge deal of it, he will be more likely to pee in it again. So from the suggestion of a MoM(mom of multiples) in my twins group, I bought the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day"



I ordered it off of Amazon today and hope to be getting it in a few days. I've heard good things about it and that you can train your child in a few hours. Once I get it and start at it of course I'll let everyone know how it goes. I just can't keep changing three kid's diapers every day.

The girls were pretty good today, but have been sleeping a lot. I have a feeling I may not be getting much sleep tonight. My mom has been coming out every night, except for weekends, since the twins have been born. I need to start managing on my own. So I told her to stay home tonight and also had told her she could stay home this past Monday night. My sister, Ashleigh, said she would like to help me and came on Monday night. Poor girl was so tired the next morning. I think taking care of twins is a very good birth control. I mean, taking care of one baby is difficult. I bet taking care of two would definitely scare some people into stop having sex. So send over your teenagers for an evening, I'd love the help and the teenager might get something out of it too :)

As I'm writing this blog tonight, I'm feeding Anna. I was on yahoo and saw that Wal-Mart pulled their Enfamil Newborn formula off the shelves because a newborn died from a bacteria they may have contracted from the formula. This scares the crap out of me since this is the formula the girls use. When I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to get formula, all their Newborn Enfamil was gone. I just thought it was sold out. I just hope it's wrong and it's not the formula. Maybe the bottle just wasn't cleaned right and bacteria grew on that. Either way, I'm going to hold my girls a little tighter tonight.

Almost Done

School is almost done with this semester and I couldn't be more ready! I have one more final tomorrow and then I have a month off. It's difficult for me to fit in an entire blog post lately and I've been trying to post some of what my days are like on Facebook. The girls turned one month old yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's gone already. That also means in a month they will have their two month shots and I'm not looking forward to that at all.
I'm thinking of changing my name. Logan is constantly saying, "Mommy" even if he doesn't want anything. If I try to get away from him, he follows me. I don't even think "Daddy" is in his vocabulary anymore. I'm getting tired of listening to him and have started yelling at him. I don't like it, but he won't leave me alone. I'm also going to say right off that this blog is going to be blatantly honest. Not only is this blog for my readers but also for me. I want to remember these times with my kids because I know these first couple months will all become a blur. So if I offend someone, sorry, but you've been warned.
My family and friends have been extremely helpful and supportive during this time. My mom is here every night, except the weekends, to help me with my night feedings and sticks around while I'm at school. She has coordinated help for me when she needs someone to help with the girls and Logan while I'm at school. When my mom can't find someone, I ask my cousin, who also works a full time job second shift, and she'll come and help. My family and friends have brought us dinner, one has even brought dinner twice. My former church family(Apostolic Christian) have gotten together and brought me loads of diapers and freezer meals to last us at least a month and they're going to do it again two more times. I can't say the same for Vince's family and friends. His mom and aunt have brought dinner once. His aunt was supposed to come on Saturday to help with the twins since Vince was working and I can't handle all three kids by myself. I messaged her the night before to make sure she was still coming and she said she wasn't feeling good and wasn't going to make it. Likely story. I think that if I hadn't messaged her she wouldn't even have let me know she wasn't coming. His mom has taken Logan a few evenings and his sister is coming later in the week to help me. That's it though. No one else has stepped up to the plate and it really bothers me. Everyone is so excited that there are twins in the family and can't wait to see them, but when they can see that I'm asking for help, I get nothing.
The girls are still getting up 2-3 times a night and it's not together all the time. So if you look at it from each twin, my mom and I are getting up 5-6 times a night some nights. I rarely get a nap during the day because once the girls are finally sleeping, Logan is up. Vince will come home and the twins are up again and I can't expect him to handle all three kids alone. I'm exhausted by 7pm, but I have to keep going and then get up all night again. I don't like hearing people say that they understand how I'm feeling when they don't have twins. They don't understand. That's why I have my Moms of Twins group, they DO understand. I don't know all of the ladies very well in the group yet, but I'm friends with lots of them on facebook. When I post a status about my day and how exhausted I am with the twins, I know the comments they leave are truly heartfelt and they know exactly what I'm going through. So if any of my MoM friends are reading this, you are awesome and all supermoms!!
I had written in a previous post that the twins were a complete surprise and I wasn't planning on getting pregnant while in school. That's why I was on the pill. So when people say that's why they spaced their kids out, I was planning on spacing my kids out. I don't need comments from the peanut gallery telling me I'm an idiot for having three kids under three years old while in school and working. This wasn't my plan.....it's God's plan and I know he's got my back.