As Time Goes By

I can't believe I only have a little over a month to go. The time has flown by. I am really hoping that this baby isn't too far overdue, but I have heard that first babies usually are late. My mom told me she went over the due date with all four of us, but my grandma was always a month early. I just don't want him to be huge and then be in terrible pain trying to push him out. I couldn't sleep at all last night. If I laid on my left side my back would get this shooting pain and if I laid on my right side my left leg would go numb and my ribs hurt. I just couldn't get comfortable at all. I'm nervous about having the baby and actually being a mom, but I am getting so uncomfortable now, I just want him out. He's been moving around so much, I'm hoping that he may have flipped over, but I really can't be too sure unless they do another sono. I really don't want a C-section and I'm afraid if he is still breech by that time, a c-section will be my only option.

We got our first CILCO bill for the new house and it was big. I knew it would be because our furnace used to be a coal furnace that was made into a gas furnace. So it is frickin' huge. You can open the door that they used to throw the coal through and the flames that are burning the gas look a bonfire. So I knew it was going to use a lot of gas, I just wasn't expecting the bill to be over $500!! So Vince decided that he is going to buy a wood burning stove and hook it up to the furnace and just use that for our heat. I hope it works. Since the furnace is so old, there are no fans in it. All it does it burn the gas and the heat rises up through the vents in the house, so his idea could work, I just don't want the smoke that the wood burning stove gives off, to come through the vents as well.

Vince got a raise a couple of weeks ago, but now they are talking about laying off people soon. They asked him if he would be willing to move to first shift if it came down to it. He said yes, but they asked everybody else as well so who knows who is staying and who is getting laid off. The extra money from his raise has been nice though, especially since I'm not working anymore. Well, today he got his check and it was a lot smaller. The reason is because child support is finally starting to come out of his check. He sent in the paper work months ago and they just now started deducting the money. This really sucks. I know he needs to pay child support, I'm not saying that. He has a son from a previous relationship and he needs to help support him, every father should. The thing that bothers me is, she is living with her husband's mom, so it's not like they have to pay rent. What bills are they paying? Who knows, but Vince and I are barely surviving as it is and now more money is being taken from us. I don't know what we are going to do. I'm so scared that we won't be able to support this baby the way we want to. I just wish money wasn't such a big issue. The only good thing that might come out of this is maybe now we might qualify for LINK. That would be awesome!! He was making too much money before, but we were still struggling. I always hate going grocery shopping because there is so much food I would love to buy, but we just can't afford it. Our shelves are almost empty as it is. I don't want this baby to know we are poor. I hope things turn around before he figures it out. That's about all I have for now.