Still On the Hunt

I had that interview and it ended up being not what I thought. I was hoping I might be able to work part-time, but was told they are open 6 days a week and I would need to work 5 of those days from 9:30am until 6 or 7 pm. They also wanted me to start the very next day and I told them I couldn't do that since I have a baby and would need to line up a babysitter. They didn't really seem to care, so I decided that job was not for me. I'm starting to get really frustrated. I've only been applying at places where I know I could make a decent amount, but now I'm thinking I should start looking at the lower income jobs, just so I can make something, but still keep looking for a better job. Vince and I are going to have to come up with real estate taxes in the next week and there is no way that is going to happen. Just as long as we pay the first installment before Sept. we should be ok, even though there will be about a $40 late fee added to it, but there is nothing else that we can do.

Logan got his first cold as well. Poor little guy. He's been sleeping really well through the night, but last night he kept waking up coughing and he sounded all stuffed up. I think I'm just going to have to let it run it's course though. I know he got it from me and my throats been bothering me too so I hope he's not in any pain. Just coughing and a runny nose hopefully. We tried to give him cereal last night and he seemed to do ok. After the first couple of bites and actually opened his mouth when I brought the spoon to him. It's so exciting seeing him grow up, but it's already going by WAY to fast. We all went to some garage sales this past weekend and I found a saucer. It's not anything great, no toys attached or anything, but he seems to like it. We have to put some blankets around him though since he is a little small for it. Ok, well I hear Logan coughing so I better go.

Three Months Already?!

My goodness, how time does fly. Logan turned three months on the 24 of May and I can't believe how much he's already doing. He just started laughing this past week and it is so precious and yesterday he rolled over for the first time. He did cry though once he got onto his back, I'm thinking it must have scared him. I had an interview last week for a job at Merry Maid's but decided not to take it after I realized I would only be getting paid around $150 for three days, plus then having to pay a babysitter so I wouldn't be coming home with very much. I've been checking different online job sites everyday and came across one that looks decent. I called them up and am going in tomorrow to fill out an application and have a interview. I think they might only be hiring full time though so I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. My sister has been looking for a job this summer and my mom is going to ask her is she wants to watch Logan a few days a week so I could work. I would pay her of course. The thing is I'm going to need to find someone to watch him those other two days. I need it to be someone I can trust so if anyone knows of somebody who is good with kids and looking for a job, I would be willing to talk with them. Logan is somewhat of a difficult baby though. He is gassy and so cries and complains a lot and I'm afraid of leaving him with someone I don't know for fear of them getting angry and hurting him. I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to him.

Our fridge is a piece of junk since the darn thing won't go into defrost mood. We already had somebody come out and look at it and they changed the timer and it was working for a while, but then it started icing up again. We keep it at the recommended temp though so it's not icing up because it's too cold, it's just broken. I asked my parents if they had an extra fridge we could borrow until we buy a new one and they did. It hadn't been turned on for ten years, but it still works!! Thank goodness, since all our food was going bad in the fridge. They told me I could go ahead and keep it as well. Woohoo!! Well it looks like my little man is waking up so I better go. I'll try and update a little later.

Enjoying Life

I gotta say, I don't know how to enjoy life anymore. I have been searching for a job, but to no avail. There just doesn't seem to be anyone hiring. I was thinking about going back to Olive Garden, but I have no one in Peoria to watch Logan. My mom said that she could watch him sometimes, but she lives in Pekin and it would be a waste of gas to drive to Pekin to drop him off and then come back to Peoria. I'd probably use all the money I made at work on gas and that doesn't really make any sense. I'm just getting so sick and tired of living from paycheck to paycheck. I would love to buy some things for Logan to do, but all he really has is his bouncer and I think he is getting bored of it. I want to get him an exersaucer and saw one at Target for $60. Which really doesn't sound like much, but to me not having any money to my name, that's quite a bit.

The appraisal we got on the house was useless and now we are out $300 having to pay for the stupid thing. I have had to skip some bills this month and I really can't be doing that. And to tell you the truth the only reason we got the appraisal was because Vince has a friend who said he would like to rent our other house, so I figured we would have the money either way. Well now his friend is being an idiot and won't pay because the plumbing isn't finished. We told him to wait until we had the house fixed up to move in, but his dad really wanted him out so he moved in anyway. How is it our problem that he decided to move into a piece of crap house. He new what he was getting into. You really can't rely on your friends. They think they can get away with stuff because they know you and think you won't care if they decide not to pay rent. Well, that's where he would be wrong. He's not my friend, so I don't mind kicking him out on his ass. I just really, REALLY need a job or we are not going to make it. I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

Hoping for the Best

I haven't written a blog for a bit, sorry about that. Things have been kind of hectic. The issue with PAWS is still going on. Yes, we ended up surrendering the dog to PAWS, but then we get something in the mail for Vince saying that he needs to pay $285 because he didn't go to court for the ticket. So we go to PAWS and ask what is going on and they say that the dog was surrendered in my name, but the ticket was written in Vince's name and it was just a little mix up. They would take care of it. Ok, that was fine, well a few days later we get something else in the mail saying that he didn't get ahold of who he was supposed to to pay his fine and he now has 10 days to make payment arrangements or serious action will be taken which included possibly arresting him. So I call PAWS and ask what the heck is going on and she's like "well I haven't had time to go to court yet and deal with it" She had better get her butt in there because I am getting sick to death of dealing with them. Plus having to deal with the city with my houses. I've had to go into city hall every Tuesday for the last three weeks and I'm tired of it. Tired of getting Logan and strapped in his carseat and then trying to find a parking space and then lugging Logan around getting to city hall and just dealing with all the stupid codes, like having to put screens on your windows. I asked them why I need them and he says "You don't want mosquitoes flying into your house" But I told him I never open my windows so why do I need them then and he just says "it's a code the city has" Well, it's a really stupid code.

Vince and I have been struggling with money lately with me not working so we went into Citifinacial who we currently have a loan with. We were planning on going in there and just asking if we could refinance and lower the payments on our loan. But then we started talking about other bills and loans and she brought up that we could get a home equity loan and combine them all. So we looked at the numbers and if we did this it would save us over $300 a month and that is huge!! The only catch is we have to pay $300 for an appraiser to come and look at the house and we don't have that kind of money just laying around. We told them we would think about it and get back to them. I called my dad, who is a CPA, and asked him what he thought. He thinks its a good idea, but the interest is kind of high, but it's lower than all my credit cards except for the 2nd mortgage I have with CEFCU. My birthday was on the 27th and my parents gave me enough money to get the appraisal. I would need to have insurance on the house in order to get the loan, which I don't have. So I called a couple places and they were all over $1000 a year. That's a lot of money for house insurance. So my dad called someone he knows and they are trying to get me cheaper insurance. They haven't found anything so far. Yesterday, I went ahead and agreed to the appraisal and wrote it as my status that "I hope the appraiser calls soon." Well my dad calls me and asks why I got the appraisal and I told him I thought that's what he wanted me to do. He said no, he told me to wait until I got insurance and now he's all upset with me because I didn't listen to him. But I thought that's what he said, but my head must have been in the clouds or something because I guess I wasn't listening. I just hope this goes well because I don't know what will happen especially if my dad isn't behind me now.

Peoria: The Money Grubbing City

As most of you know, I have been having issues with my dog, Pillow. She now manages to dig under the fence in the backyard and escape and we were written a ticket because of this and also since she wasn't up to date on her rabies shot. The animal control officer told me if I couldn't afford to get her shots and registration, that I could just bring her into PAWS and not have to pay anything. Yes, that's exactly what I wanted! I told Vince about it and he didn't want to. He says he likes having a dog. Coulda fooled me since she was caged up all day, everyday. A few days after that, she got out again and once again animal control showed up. I told her we had already previously been given a ticket. I told her how much I wanted to get rid of the dog, but my boyfriend didn't want to. So she told me about this program called the Spay and Neuter Program for low income families that will spay your dog, give them shots and registration for $50. I didn't really want to pay anything more for this dog, but Vince wanted to think it over. So the day the ticket was due arrived and Vince had yet to come to a decision. So I told him, you can hate me if you want, but I'm taking the dog to PAWS. Off I went and was about halfway there and Vince calls me and says he doesn't want to give her up and to sign up for the Spay and Neuter Program. He would pay for it. So I get her signed up and was told that I would take her into their vet on May 5. I wasn't thrilled, but I figured $50 wasn't so bad. Vince bought a trolley for Pillow so now she can run back and forth across the yard, but still be tied up. Unfortunately, she can still reach the fence and digs underneath, but is stuck just on the other side of the fence because of the tie out. I always have to pull her back in and then lock her up because I'm so pissed off at her!! Why doesn't she learn?!

Anyway, so I have been trying to get ahold of this officer who wrote me the ticket to tell him I got my dog signed up for the program and would the ticket now be voided. He never called me. What an ass!! So today I finally call the clinic and just talk to one of the front desk people, since tomorrow is the day I was supposed to go to court for the ticket and I really would rather not drag Logan out downtown if I don't have to. I tell them my situation and she puts me on hold for a bit and then comes back and tells me the ticket stands and I will have to pay the $100 fine. What the....?!?! I told her I signed my dog up for the program and she says, "It doesn't matter, she didn't get her shots before the ticket was due" I tell her I don't have that kind of money and she says that I will need to go to court tomorrow and ask for an extension. So, not only did I have to pay the $50 to get her shots, but now I have to pay $100 because I didn't get her signed up on time?! It would have been cheaper if I had taken her to my own vet and got it done sooner. I will have to drag Logan out tomorrow, but with no vehicle I don't really now how that is going to work. I don't understand why Vince wanted to keep that stupid dog!! We are having to pay so much for her and half of this family doesn't even want her. I'm about to call PAWS and just tell them to take her because I'm sick of this crap!! I am so pissed off right now, I dare somebody to cross me, they won't know what hit them!!

Whistle While You Work

We are finally starting to work on the house again. Thank goodness. I keep telling Vince, Logan is going to be crawling around before we know it and I do not want him on the floor that isn't finished. Last weekend my mom watched Logan and we were able to get a lot done. We are also still moving stuff out of the other house's attic. All of that is going to be going into our little storage space at the new house. There really isn't enough room for it though so we are going to have to rent a storage unit. But right now, we don't have the money for it. Vince and I have decided we are just going to sell our old house. We were thinking about renting it out, but it needs a ton of work and am going to have to list it as a 'handy man's special' I'm probably just going to list it on Tradin' Post and some free sites and see if I get any bites. If that doesn't work, we are going to have to hire a realtor. We just need enough money to pay off the loan. A little extra would be nice, but I'm not going to push it.

Last weekend, Logan rolled onto his back from his tummy. He is such a strong little guy. He is going to be a handful when he gets older though, I can already tell. He certainly loves his daddy though. He always calms down when Vince holds him. It's really sweet. And I'm going to have to get him a little suit for when we get married, he's going to look quite the stud muffin :)

I'm very badly wanting to go back to work, but Vince doesn't want me to. I don't want people to think less of me for this, but Vince burns movies for people at his work and makes a decent amount doing it. He says that if I go back to work, he will no longer be able to do this because he'll be busy with Logan. And he makes the same amount in one day that I would probably make working a shift at Olive Garden, so it's almost pointless for me to work. So then I started thinking that I could do a day job, but then my entire check would probably go to childcare for Logan and that would be pointless too. So I'm really confused about what I should do at this point. Being a stay at home mom is what I always wanted to do, but now that I am, I miss working. I don't know if it's because I really want to be back on the work force or because we need money so badly and I feel like a need to contribute. Either way, we really do need the money and my being at home sure isn't getting us any.

We still haven't set a date yet for getting married. I called a couple of courthouses and Tazewell county costs $49 for a marriage license and $10 to get married. Woodford county costs $20 for a marriage license and I don't know how much to get married. I was supposed to talk to the judge, but he didn't answer the phone. They did tell me though that we would have to take an hour of marriage counseling at Woodford though and I don't know how much that costs. So far, Tazewell seems the better choice to me, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Love and Marriage

Wow, I still can't believe that Logan is a month old already! Time really does fly. He is still working on trying to roll over from his stomach, but he's doing a pretty good job. He arches his back and almost makes it, but that's as far as he gets. I'm looking forward to the day when he starts smiling, then those 3am feedings won't be so hard cause I'll have something to look forward to.

A couple of days ago I got a letter from my brother apologizing for what he had done in the past. I was kinda surprised. He says he would like to start talking again and I would like that too. Even if he can be a real pill, he is still my brother and I love him. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to write back to him write away. I might just wait until I see him at Easter, but then that will be the first time he sees Logan and I don't want to put too much pressure on him in front of the family. I guess I'll just need to think about it a little more.

I've been doing some soul searching lately and realized that this is really not how I want to live my life. I never ever planned to live with a guy before I got married and I hoped and prayed I wouldn't get pregnant before I got married, but I let my guard down and it happened. Not that I would change it now, I love my son to pieces!! I've come to realize my life is the way it is because I choose to live this way. I believe that God blesses those that are faithful to Him. I haven't been faithful, I've been depending on myself and look where it's got me. I know there are people that don't believe in God and following His teachings, but that is how I grew up and truthfully almost everyone I know who is faithful to Him are very blessed people. I want to be one of those people. I used to be. Things were so easy for me when I lived for Jesus, and now...well things suck. I struggle everyday with how I am living. I know that suddenly because I start praying and going to church again that my life won't suddenly turn around, but I know I will feel better inside and that's really what's important. I just need to know that God will provide. I need to let of my selfish ways and lean on Him and that is going to be hard for me, so please be praying. But anyway as I was saying, I don't like living with a guy and having a kid and not being married so Vince and I are getting married this year. It's just going to be at the courthouse, which does devastate me because I would LOVE a wedding, but I don't have time for that now. We are planning on having a reception, something small for friends and family, but my family is pretty big so there will be a lot of people there...as long as everyone comes anyway :) We haven't set a date yet because I need to call the courthouses and see which county is the best one to go to i.e.cheapest and shortest waiting period. I think my mom is going to help me with a dress and the only thing we are going to need are rings. I'm a little concerned about that because last I knew rings are expensive. Something will turn up to help out though, I hope. Can't wait and I will keep you all updated on the plans!