Laid Off Is a Scary Word

Everything is still going ok. Vince was back to work this week and now I am needing to step up and be a little housewife or house girlfriend, lol, whatever. I can't say that I mind it though. Being home and taking care of the house is what I've been wanting to do for awhile. Now I just wish the house was done. We still need to put quarter round in all the rooms and need to lay laminate in two rooms. The baby's room hasn't even been started. There is a leak in his room and so we haven't done anything yet and I really want to get it done. We got this really cute light blue paint and I can't wait to see it when it's done. One of the rooms still needs to be painted and I need a kitchen faucet that works!!! I've been using a bucket to get water from the shower and dumping it into the kitchen sink in order to do dishes, but it's been kinda hard for me to get motivated to do the dishes. I just don't feel like standing at the sink for an hour doing dishes with my belly. My back starts to hurt really fast and it just isn't comfortable.

What is really getting me nervous now though is Vince says at his work they are talking about more lay offs and that scares the crap out of me. He has only been there since July and he still isn't company. He is afraid that since he is a temp that they won't see any reason to keep him. But he is a great worker and he deserves a good job, plus the fact that we have a baby coming and we really need him to have a job. He has been thinking about getting his CDL license for awhile and now this is a little more of a push for him to look in to it. Even the people with CDL's on the lower end of the wage scale make more than he does now. The only thing is, it will take awhile for him to get it. He'll have to study and practice before he even takes his test so who knows how long that will be. I just hope everything turns out ok.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I'm going to ask her about natural delivery. My mom was saying I should look into lamaze if I plan on going natural. I'm too late to sign up for any classes though, I'm hoping just reading some books about it will help and if all else fails I will get an epidural. I can't believe I only have 6 weeks left. It's crazy!! I've been having trouble sleeping lately too. It's just really starting to get uncomfortable now and this kid can really kick! I'm still waiting for him to move to the correct position. His little head still feels like it's underneath my right ribcage and now it almost feels like it's starting to bruise in that spot. I just want him to move!! I think that's about it for now.

Work is Over

My last day working for the Pekin Times was Dec. 27 and I could not be happier to finally be done!! I've been working on the house with Vince while we've been off. He has the week off as well since CAT shut down for a week, so we get to spend one last week together before our little guy is born. I feel so lazy, since it's starting to get more difficult for me to move around. I'm not able to help Vince move anything since it feels like I'm really straining if I do lift anything. And now, it's getting hard for me to even bend over. I don't understand how a little baby, probably 6 pounds, can cause me so much trouble getting around.

I was able to go to public aid today and get a replacement medical card, since when we moved and forwarded our mail the medical card wasn't forwarded. I was starting to get a little nervous since my next doctor appointment is at the beginning of Jan. and I wanted to make sure I would be able to keep the appointment. As far as I know the baby is still breech. It still feels really tight under my right rib cage where his head is, so I'm pretty sure he hasn't moved. I read something online that said I need to put my hips above my head and this will help flip the baby upside down. Something about putting pillows underneath my hips and lifting them higher than my head. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm thinking I better do it soon, since the bigger he gets the harder it will probably be for him to flip and as of tomorrow I will be 33 weeks.

My cousin came down from the Elgin area this past Sunday and brought me a ton of baby stuff. I'm so excited, but I have nowhere to put it all. She gave me a cradle that glides instead of rocks and I'm so happy. Vince and I were going to go out this week to buy a crib, but getting this saves us a money for now, until he gets too big for the cradle. I have a car seat, which I got from my aunt, but it doesn't have the little thing that's actually meant for a newborn. I don't know what it's called but it fits inside the car seat and holds the baby's head so it doesn't flop side to side. I could still use more baby stuff, but I don't want to be greedy. I just know babies can be expensive and I would rather have some of this stuff earlier than having to go out and buy it myself.

I'm a little nervous about our dog too. She has really bad allergies, we've been giving her fish oil for it, but she scratches and shakes her head so much. Right now, she sleeps in the room with us on her bed, but she wakes me up in the middle of the night scratching. She gets fur everywhere and I really don't know if I want her in the same room as the baby once he's born. I've tried pushing her put of the room and she cries until I let her back in, but I seriously don't trust her anyway. She's already pooped in the new house once and I don't trust her not to do it again if I push her out the door. So I'm kind of torn what to do about her. I don't want her getting fur all over the baby and waking him up with her scratching. Hopefully this fish oil works and I won't have to worry about it once the time comes. And we have selected a name for our little guy, we've decided on Logan Frederick. Can't wait to meet our little Logan :)

We Have Officially Moved In

We finally moved into our new house a couple of weeks ago!! I'm just writing about it now because I haven't had the chance to get on the internet more than a few minutes at a time and write a blog, but now we have internet again, so no worries!! I'm just so happy to be out of the south side. I need to do a few updates since I haven't written for a while. Our little baby is still doing good, but I have a urinary tract infection. I think it's from when I got food poisoning a few weeks ago, but I'm taking my antibiotics so all should be well in a couple of days. I can't believe I only have 9 weeks left!! The time has flown by, but I don't want it to end yet. I love the feeling of the baby inside me and I'm going to miss that feeling once he's born, but at least then I'll get to hold him in my arms. I've been having all these crazy dreams lately about me and the baby. I hope they go away after he's born. And I have this nagging fear about dying in child birth, but when I asked the OB about it she said in all the birth's she's done only one mother has died and that was from an underlying problem that she had before. So I guess I shouldn't worry so much.
I only have one week left of work and then I'm done with delivering papers forever!! I put Christmas cards in my papers a couple weeks ago and I've gotten a few tips and a couple presents, actually I got a box of microwave popcorn yesterday, lol, these people are creative. The only thing I've noticed though is that everything I've gotten has been from people in Tremont, no one from Mackinaw or Deer Creek has given me anything. And I hand deliver some of my papers in Deer Creek and no one feels like I deserve a tip or a gift of some kind? I sound so spoiled right now, I know, but I do 4 hours of driving a day, being 7 months pregnant, having to shuffle across the ice and they don't feel the need to reward me for my hard work!? Pft, whatever.

If I don't see you later, have a Merry Christmas!!

The Way Things Are

It seems like ages since I've written a blog. I miss my internet!! Anyway.... So things haven't really changed a whole lot. I'm getting bigger which is nice, but I don't like gaining all this weight. I went to WIC yesterday and they weighed me and I have gained 17 pounds in all, which I thought was ok. But then she asks me if I feel like I've gained 17 pounds and I said, "yeah" and then she says " the doctor hasn't said anything to you about it?" WHAT?! Am I really that fat? I feel like a freakin whale now that she said that. I don't do a lot of exercise because our house is pretty small and I'm sure not walking around the south side by myself (Vince sleeps during the day) so yes, I am gaining some weight.

Our house that we are working on still isn't finished...getting closer, but not there yet. Now we find out there is a leak in the 'will be baby's room' and we got a roof estimate done and a new roof is going to run us $16,000. Yeah right. I don't know what to do. There is no way on top of the roof without the proper equipment and it's not even a whole in the roof, it's something messed up with gutters, so we can't just patch it. Why does money have to be so stressful. I just hope maybe one of these times that I go to McDonald's I'll get the winning game piece from Monopoly and win $1 million. Wouldn't that be awesome!! Today is Vince and me's 4th anniversary since we started dating and we don't even have the money to go out. This sucks!! That's about it for now.

Everything’s Laid Out

Well I guess my parents told my brother about my pregnancy. It was sure nice of them to let me know they were telling him so I could have been prepared for the nasty email. I knew it was going to be bad, but it seems like they told him EVERY detail about what is going on in my life, money, pregnancy, everything. You can tell this once you read it....which I am letting everyone do. This way you can see what I deal with. This is why I don't have anything to do with him and why I always call my parents ahead of time before going over to visit to make sure he isn't there. I put a blog up last year from the email he sent me about not coming to Thanksgiving. In case you would like to read that as well. The title of that blog is 'my brother my problem' But here and now, here is what he sent me....enjoy:

Well I hope you're proud of yourself. You are a real winner as we all know. Congratulations. your life will now go nowhere. Not that it was going anywhere before. You have to be the most pathetic, selfish person I know. I would disown now except I'd already done that sometime ago. I will for sure pray for your child and pray that it will get some good parents who will actually raise it in a good home, not a house that cost $4,000 in the ghetto. I am going to school where when I graduate I will be making about $20 an hour. Just thought I'd let you know. So how much do you make? O wait your living below the poverty line and using medicaid. Nice Lindsey. Just think, at one point in time you were a sister in our church and could have gone somewhere. Too bad you blew it. I have faith Ashleigh won't tread down YOUR path. Of course there's still hope for you. But not as long as your with shit for brains. Yes please let him know I called him that. Someday I hope to get married and start a family with a decent Christian woman. Basically the criteria will be anyone not like you. So that narrows it down quite a bit. So I hope you're doing well otherwise. Maybe we can hang out sometime. Except I don't know if you have enough gas money to get out here. So maybe not. Well that's all for me. Have a good night.

Getting Kinda Nervous

Wow, so I'm really pregnant and I have this little life growing inside of me. This is just starting to really sink in now. I am responsible enough to be in charge of another human? I don't know, but I better figure it out quick!! I have felt little things in my belly, but I don't know if it's my little guy or just gas, cause for some reason I have been really gasy lately, I know too much info. I hope it's my guy. The thought of Vince supporting all three of us is really starting to get me nervous too. I added up all the bills and Vince doesn't make that much a month, plus child support will be coming out of his check soon and then that's even less money that we'll have. I'm so scared. I asked my parents if I could buy my grandma's car off of them and then sell my grand am to get rid of the loan I owe on it to CEFCU. That would save us a little money since my dad won't charge me interest. Also, I need to sell this frigin' house!! We want to sell it for the amount of the loan we have on it so we can get rid of that loan as well. But I don't know if people would be willing to pay $13,000 for a house in the south side that needs a lot of work. I've looked at other houses that were fixer uppers, and ours is decent, it still has it's walls up and some new cabinets and paint on the walls, but what we are asking is a lot of money, to me anyway. Who knows, maybe someone will want to turn it into a rental property. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but if we ever want to buy a nice house not in Peoria, we need my good credit. Vince has really bad credit so even if he makes lots of money, which he doesn't, how are we ever going to get a house loan? We won't unless I work and have the loan under both our names. I just want to take care of our baby. I just hope things start going right.

Getting Excited

I haven't had the chance to blog in a long time, or so it seems to me. Our internet was turned off as was our cable tv. But yet, they are still sending me bills for the month that I wasn't even allowed to use them, stupid Comcast!! So I'm going to the library or using people's wi-fi when I park outside their houses, shhh....don't tell. But anyway, things have changed a little. Vince has a job, thank goodness. He also is recruiting someone from his work to help with the new house and hopefully get it done soon. We haven't done any work on it for months now. The rain that we had last weekend...ummm yeah our ceiling caved in in the second bedroom from all the water and now it REALLY stinks in this house. I cannot wait to move!!

I'm not feeling so sick anymore, haven't thrown up for a few weeks now. I got my first sonogram last week and we are having a little boy!! I did want a girl, but I'll get over it. Now I'm getting excited though. I was so planning on having an epidural, but my mom told me she didn't have one with any of us 4 kids, so now I don't know if I should either. I guess I'll just see how bad the pain is once I get to that point. Won't be for a few more months though. My belly finally popped, but I'm still trying to hide it from my work, so I'm still wearing the baggy shirts, lol!! I've already gained 10 pounds and and hoping not too much more. I don't like looking like a whale, but I just keep hoping it'll be a 30 pound baby, lol, just kidding (that would really hurt)