Time Not Wasted

I cannot believe how fast the days have been going. Not just that the girls will be three weeks old on Friday, but also how fast a day goes. I get up around 5:30-6am every morning, help my mom feed the girls, do some studying, make myself some breakfast, get ready and head to school. By the time I get home, it's already afternoon. Logan will be downstairs watching 'Peppa Pig' which is one of his favorite shows, and eating his lunch. Today, my mom did my laundry and made chicken noodle soup for us while I was in class. I love my mom! We feed the girls and put them to bed and then my mom heads home. I get Logan down for his nap at 2pm and if the girls are still asleep, I finally get a little me time which sadly is spent studying or cleaning the house. Vince gets home from work at 2:45pm and hops in the shower. We have an hour to spend together before Logan gets up, which is around 4pm. Since we don't have a lot of time we usually just watch a show we DVRed from the night before. Today we watched 'Pawn Stars'. I wake Logan from his nap because if he sleeps too long he won't go to bed at night at a decent time. The girls are also getting up around this time and need to be changed and fed. I also need to assemble some kind of dinner for the family(as we are running out of leftovers from all the wonderful people who brought us dinner) Once we are finished with dinner I'm usually studying again. Today, I'm working on the muscles for the practical exam that I have next week. Speaking of which, I only have 5 days left of actual classes this semester!! Super exciting!!
Our evening consists of watching NickJr with Logan and playing with his cars, feeding and changing the girls and trying to keep them awake so they sleep more at night. If I'm lucky, I'm able to squeeze a shower somewhere in the evening and by this time it's already 8:30pm and my mom will be here in an hour to help with the girls through the night. I just baffles me that my day is gone that fast. I'm trying not to waste the time that I have, but there doesn't even seem to be enough hours in the day anymore. That is a day in the life of me.

Logan is doing really good with the girls. He seems to have realized that they are here to stay and mommy and daddy still have time for him too. Whenever the girls cry, Logan will run to them and say, "Don't cry, don't cry. It's fine" If the girls are sitting in their bouncers, he will grab their blankets and their pink hats from the hospital and put it on them. He also likes to examine their little hands and fingers. For some reason, this really fascinates him. We also let him hold one of the girls for the first time and he thought it was pretty neat.


I should be studying right now, but I was really getting tired of writing how to palpate all these muscles. Sometimes I really need some me time. My mom sent me an email earlier today and said that two ladies are coming over on Dec. 9 to watch the girls and Logan. I don't have class that day and since there will be two people here, I should take some time for myself. I honestly don't know what to do. What does one do by ones self? Vince won't be home until the afternoon. What do you think?

"Mommy"

When Logan was younger, I could not wait for the day that he would call me mommy. Now there are days I wish I could change my name. I hope I'm not the only mom like that. Every once in a while I just want a break from him and his incessant jabbering. Today is one of those days. I try to lay down for a nap and he comes into the room,

"Mommy! What you doing?"

"Logan, mommy's tired. She wants to go nigh nigh"

"No, mommy!!"

Then he comes over and pulls on my shirt trying to get me up and he won't leave me alone until I finally surrender. By this time the girls have woken up as well and Vince is forced to come up from the basement to help me out. This is just one of the instances today. Right now Logan is downstairs with daddy playing with his cars, but every so often he comes up to check on me, "Mommy, mommy? Mommy" and he continues until I respond.

Yesterday when I mentioned that Logan was such a good big brother, well, we had a little issue yesterday. We were all sitting on the couch with Vince holding Aimee on one side of the couch and me on the other side holding Anna. Logan was sitting on the floor playing with his toys and I was getting up to get Anna a bottle. I set Anna on the cushion between Vince and myself and Logan didn't like that. He got up and said, "No!" and pushed Anna's head to the side trying to push her off the couch. Vince grabbed a hold of Logan's arm before he could actually do any damage and I snatched Anna back into my arms. I have a feeling this is the first of many instances to come. I would post some pictures, but for some reason blogger isn't letting me upload any and I'm not sure if there is another way to post them or not.

New Big Brother

Logan is absolutely in love with his new little sisters. The girls don't sleep particularly well in their crib, but sleep great on the couch. No, I don't leave them alone nor do I fall asleep on the couch with them. I know the risk of SIDS, but I also want my girls to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. Anyway, when I have the girls laying next to me on the couch, Logan will bring over their blankets and cover them up. He likes to rub his cheek on their heads and kiss them. His kissing involves just saying, "Muah muah" He actually learned that from the movie Megamind and now whenever I put him to bed and give him a kiss goodnight, he'll put his mouth on my cheek and say "Muah" Haha, it's better than nothing.

The girls got up every two hours last night. It's rough and I must have forgotten what it was like with Logan. I think most people forget those first few weeks, they all just roll into one blur. The difference with twins is you either wake one up that isn't crying so they eat at the same time or you stagger feed them. Most nights the girls have been getting up together and thankfully my mom has been staying overnight to help. I attempted to breastfeed, but my milk still hasn't come in fully. I try to pump as well to at least give the girls some of the good stuff. Aimee is my slow, steady eater. It takes her thirty minutes to finish two ounces. Anna on the other hand is my speed eater. What takes Aimee thirty minutes, only takes Anna fifteen. When they do stagger feed, I like for Aimee to eat first. My reasoning is if Anna eats first and then I feed Aimee, Anna will have slept for thirty minutes while I was feeding Aimee and that's less time now that I will get to sleep. It's kind of hard to explain, but I understand the logic in my head.

Tomorrow, I go back to school. I've been off for a week and thoroughly enjoyed the time with my girls and Logan. It'll be difficult to leave my girls and I'm kind of in a funk about it. I'm trying not to dwell on it however, as I don't want to get depressed. I've had a fear that I will suffer from postpartum depression since I have a lot going on in my life and feel very overwhelmed at times. I love my girls very much and can never see me not wanting to take care of them, but sometimes life just gets in the way. My mom tells me that even though things are rough right now they will get better and I can do anything for a little while because I know it won't last forever. Once this semester is over, I'll only have three semesters to go. I'm sure I can handle just three more semesters. Plus, I have some wonderful classmates who have been so helpful and supportive through my entire pregnancy. It certainly makes going back to school not as hard as I think it might be.

Here We Go Again

I've caught the blog bug once again. Not only will this keep my family and friends updated but will also help me remember my time with my growing children. I've changed the name and layout but don't really remember how to make it pretty so bear with me until I can figure it out. Time for an update. Vince and I have moved out of Peoria and into a comfortable home in Washington. About the time that we decided to start looking for a new house and also the same time I was accepted into the physical therapy assistant program, we found out I was pregnant. This was a big surprise to us as we had been preventing pregnancy since I was in school and didn't want to bring a child into the world while being so busy. We knew we could make it work somehow so I made an appointment at my OB and went in when I was about 8 weeks along. My midwife was going to do a sonogram to make sure there was a baby there and just happened to mention that last week a mom came in and found out she was expecting twins. The likely hood of the office having two moms expecting twins within in the same month was very slim and statistically didn't happen. I don't know why she mentioned that as I really didn't think it was possible for me to have twins since they don't run in my family. So the sonogram is underway and my midwife is looking for baby and says, "Well, statistics aren't always right.....you're having twins."

Shocked is an understatement. I was handed the sonogram picture and there were indeed two little heads just as she had stated. She had me go to the lab to get blood work done and I pulled out my phone and text Vince. He had teased that when I first found out I was pregnant it was probably twins just to scare me. This is how are texting conversation went. Me: "You were right, it's twins." long pause.........Vince: "What?" Me: "It's freaking twins!!!!" Vince: "We're going to need a bigger house."

The nurse came in and took my blood work, but must have missed the right area because I felt suddenly nauseous. I left the lab and headed to the checkout to make my next appointment. I was also told I would need to see a perinatologist as he deals with high risk pregnancies and twins are high risk. Standing in line to check out and things start to go dark and I feel extremely light headed. The receptionist sees how pale I've become and tells me to come around and sit down and asks if I'm ok. I just said, "I'm having twins." And that is how our story begins.

Fast forward nine months and the day has come for my twins to be born. I was scheduled for a c-section on 11/11/11 at 10:45 am. My nurses were hoping to get me in at 11:11am because they all thought it would be really special, however my OB had another surgery and I didn't end up going into the OR until 11:30am. Backtracking a bit, Vince and I were waiting in our room for the nurses to take me back and it felt like it took forever and the longer we were waiting the more nervous I was getting. The finally came into the room and told Vince to put on his 'space suit' and they would come back for him once I was set up.

I walked back to the OR and they had me sit on the side of the table and bend my back like a cat so the anesthesiologist could put in my spinal. I'd had an epidural with my son and I don't remember it hurting, but maybe it's because I was in so much pain from the contractions that I didn't even notice. This spinal did hurt, but I'm sure my nerves didn't help. They kept telling me not to move and I had this fear that she would miss the spot and I would be paralyzed. Crazy thoughts going through my head. She got it and I was shaking so bad from the nerves. My OB comes in and the nurses tell him that I'm very nervous. He puts his arm around me and says "I'm nervous too" His joking made me feel a little better. The helped me lay on the table and get my legs situated and then the drape was put up. I was having trouble breathing and I threw up. I was given something for my breathing and oxygen in my nose. Vince came in then and I felt so much better with him there. I remember the nurses telling me that my OB would stick me with objects and ask if I could feel them to know if I was totally numb. He never asked, but I started feeling tugging and had no idea what was going on. I heard my baby crying and knew one was out. The next baby was breech and they had Vince sit down because they didn't want him seeing her being pulled out. I guess it looks weird when a baby is pulled out feet first. Both babies were taken to the warmers and I was asked if I wanted to stay awake so I could see my babies or given some sedation. I said I wanted to stay awake. I saw them getting all cleaned up and when the OB started putting me back together, I was given some sedation so I wouldn't feel the tugging and pulling. Next thing I know it's 20 minutes later and everyone is out of the room except for a few nurses who were cleaning me up. I must have lost a lot of blood because they kept saying something about it and that at least I didn't get any blood in my hair.

I was wheeled to recovery and the girls were brought in and I was given the chance to nurse them. It was so amazing having two little girls latched at the same time. I don't know how I'm going to do it by myself once I get home. I was in recovery for an hour and then taken to my regular room where I remain for the remainder of my stay. Some blood was drawn and I was told my hemoglobin was low and there was a possibility of a blood transfusion, but as of right now it sounds like I'll just be on Iron pills for at least the next 6 months. The whole birth was wonderful and the c-section not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'm so happy to finally be able to hold my little girls. Now the fun begins going home and having my 2 year old learn to adjust to his new sisters.

Father's Rights

So, I do a little facebook stalking now and then and sometimes look at Vince's ex's page. Since his son lives with his ex, I just like to see what goes on with them. I'll call her E. So E and her husband live with his mom. They've been living here for a few years, saving up for a house I guess. She recently put up some pictures of a vacation they took to Wisconsin Dells and of the hotel they stayed at. I looked it up and the cheapest room this hotel offers is $200 a night. Why do they splurge on vacations when trying to save for a house? Normally this is none of my business, but Vince pays $84 a week child support. Plus all his tax return money goes to her as well. This year is was over $700. I honestly don't think that this child support goes towards expenses for the child. They live with his mom! What bills do they have? So I asked Vince if he would ever consider giving up his rights to his son. He told me he didn't want to talk about it.
I wouldn't ask this if he was a big part of his son's life, but he's not. He hardly ever sees him. I think the last time he saw him was Logan's bday which was on Feb 24. His son even told Vince that he wasn't his real dad. How can he think that? It's because Vince doesn't see his son. If he's paying child support for a son he never sees why should he contine to be his father? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is just the way I see it.

Nap Time

I couldn't resist taking this picture of Logan yesterday. I went to get him out of bed since he'd been asleep for 3 1/2 hours already, which is a long nap for him. And this is what I find. Logan all curled up in his blanket. He's such a sweetheart and it's hard for me to get pictures of him while he's sleeping. When I open his bedroom door, he usually wakes right up. He was really konked out.



In other news, my dad is going to give me my sister's car and I am going to give him the Buick. Oh and her car is a Cavalier, which I'm super excited about because it'll save a butt load on gas. Vince found someone who was looking for a Durango and trying to get rid of her car in the process which is a Grand Prix. So we will be trading the Durango for her car. Craigslist is so awesome!! We just put it in the barter section and within a few days had a lot of people looking to trade.

My birthday was this past Tuesday and I had to work. I could have requested it off, but honestly there was really no point. I'm 25, what's the big deal about working on your birthday once you hit a certain age. It didn't bother me too much, but I wasn't expecting anything from Vince. Once I get home, I see a gift bag and Vince says that it's from Logan, lol. It was some scented oil and a holder that has a candle and will warm the oil and keep your house smelling good. I loved it, since our house always kinda of weird odor. I think it's from the old owner and all the animal urine that soaked into the floor. On hot days, sometimes you can smell a little something. So this was a perfect gift! Then Vince gets me his present and it's a Wii Fit Plus. I'm always complaining about not having time to exercise so Vince thought it would be a good idea. I can't wait to try it out, but I have heard that it can be mean. Like when you step on the board it will say "Ouch" like I'm fat or something, lol. I already know I am, I don't need a video game telling me too. We picked up some Chinese take out for dinner and watched some tv on the couch. Nothing too fancy, but I really enjoyed it!!

An Update

Ok, I'm doing really bad at blogging lately and I apologize. Things have been crazy lately. We are on the hunt for a new car. The Dodge Durango we have eats gas and since Vince drives to Mossville every day for work, we figured we should look for something with better gas milage. This car, the Pontiac G6 has really caught Vince's eye and I like it too, but right now I'm not sure we can afford it at $14,990. Doing some research we found the same car with more miles on it for $3000 less. So we'll see how things pan out.

Logan is going through a growth spurt again. He's been able to fit into his 12 month clothes and even some of his 6-9 month clothes for awhile still and I was hoping he could wear these throughout the summer. Boy, was I wrong! He can't even fit into his 12 months anymore. Thankfully it is spring which means garage sale time. Yesterday Tremont had their townwide garage sales and I found some great clothes for good prices. A few houses were selling their baby clothes for a quarter each, you can't beat that!

Work has been a little hectic too since we are so short staffed, but have just now starting hiring more people because we were on a hiring freeze. And some good news is that I might be switching shifts at work. I currently work from 11-7 and feel like I'm missing out on alot with Logan. My boss informed me that one of the girls in the morning will be leaving and wanted to know if I wanted her spot. Of course!! I'll now work from 6am-1:30pm which leaves my whole afternoon with Logan free. I'm so excited!! Vince is also working his way up at his job. The supervisors really seem to like him and in just a month he's moved to a building that pays better and then became a forktruck driver. So he's already gotten a couple raises. We're going to enjoy it while we can before child support and the unemployment he has to pay back starts coming out of his check because then he won't be making anything.

I've also added a food blog search link to the gadgets in my blog. This thing is awesome!! Just search for a recipe and any food blog that has this recipe will pop up. I'm really liking it :) So give it a try.

To end this blog, I decided to try and upload a video. My first time trying this, hope it works and it's taking forever to upload. Anyway, this is Logan climbing up our stairs. He's getting pretty good at it, but still can't get back down yet.