The Potty

The potty is my nemesis. I've been trying for a couple weeks now to potty train Logan and he still has yet to even pee in the potty. My thought is if I can just get him to pee in it once and make a huge deal of it, he will be more likely to pee in it again. So from the suggestion of a MoM(mom of multiples) in my twins group, I bought the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day"



I ordered it off of Amazon today and hope to be getting it in a few days. I've heard good things about it and that you can train your child in a few hours. Once I get it and start at it of course I'll let everyone know how it goes. I just can't keep changing three kid's diapers every day.

The girls were pretty good today, but have been sleeping a lot. I have a feeling I may not be getting much sleep tonight. My mom has been coming out every night, except for weekends, since the twins have been born. I need to start managing on my own. So I told her to stay home tonight and also had told her she could stay home this past Monday night. My sister, Ashleigh, said she would like to help me and came on Monday night. Poor girl was so tired the next morning. I think taking care of twins is a very good birth control. I mean, taking care of one baby is difficult. I bet taking care of two would definitely scare some people into stop having sex. So send over your teenagers for an evening, I'd love the help and the teenager might get something out of it too :)

As I'm writing this blog tonight, I'm feeding Anna. I was on yahoo and saw that Wal-Mart pulled their Enfamil Newborn formula off the shelves because a newborn died from a bacteria they may have contracted from the formula. This scares the crap out of me since this is the formula the girls use. When I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to get formula, all their Newborn Enfamil was gone. I just thought it was sold out. I just hope it's wrong and it's not the formula. Maybe the bottle just wasn't cleaned right and bacteria grew on that. Either way, I'm going to hold my girls a little tighter tonight.

Almost Done

School is almost done with this semester and I couldn't be more ready! I have one more final tomorrow and then I have a month off. It's difficult for me to fit in an entire blog post lately and I've been trying to post some of what my days are like on Facebook. The girls turned one month old yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's gone already. That also means in a month they will have their two month shots and I'm not looking forward to that at all.
I'm thinking of changing my name. Logan is constantly saying, "Mommy" even if he doesn't want anything. If I try to get away from him, he follows me. I don't even think "Daddy" is in his vocabulary anymore. I'm getting tired of listening to him and have started yelling at him. I don't like it, but he won't leave me alone. I'm also going to say right off that this blog is going to be blatantly honest. Not only is this blog for my readers but also for me. I want to remember these times with my kids because I know these first couple months will all become a blur. So if I offend someone, sorry, but you've been warned.
My family and friends have been extremely helpful and supportive during this time. My mom is here every night, except the weekends, to help me with my night feedings and sticks around while I'm at school. She has coordinated help for me when she needs someone to help with the girls and Logan while I'm at school. When my mom can't find someone, I ask my cousin, who also works a full time job second shift, and she'll come and help. My family and friends have brought us dinner, one has even brought dinner twice. My former church family(Apostolic Christian) have gotten together and brought me loads of diapers and freezer meals to last us at least a month and they're going to do it again two more times. I can't say the same for Vince's family and friends. His mom and aunt have brought dinner once. His aunt was supposed to come on Saturday to help with the twins since Vince was working and I can't handle all three kids by myself. I messaged her the night before to make sure she was still coming and she said she wasn't feeling good and wasn't going to make it. Likely story. I think that if I hadn't messaged her she wouldn't even have let me know she wasn't coming. His mom has taken Logan a few evenings and his sister is coming later in the week to help me. That's it though. No one else has stepped up to the plate and it really bothers me. Everyone is so excited that there are twins in the family and can't wait to see them, but when they can see that I'm asking for help, I get nothing.
The girls are still getting up 2-3 times a night and it's not together all the time. So if you look at it from each twin, my mom and I are getting up 5-6 times a night some nights. I rarely get a nap during the day because once the girls are finally sleeping, Logan is up. Vince will come home and the twins are up again and I can't expect him to handle all three kids alone. I'm exhausted by 7pm, but I have to keep going and then get up all night again. I don't like hearing people say that they understand how I'm feeling when they don't have twins. They don't understand. That's why I have my Moms of Twins group, they DO understand. I don't know all of the ladies very well in the group yet, but I'm friends with lots of them on facebook. When I post a status about my day and how exhausted I am with the twins, I know the comments they leave are truly heartfelt and they know exactly what I'm going through. So if any of my MoM friends are reading this, you are awesome and all supermoms!!
I had written in a previous post that the twins were a complete surprise and I wasn't planning on getting pregnant while in school. That's why I was on the pill. So when people say that's why they spaced their kids out, I was planning on spacing my kids out. I don't need comments from the peanut gallery telling me I'm an idiot for having three kids under three years old while in school and working. This wasn't my plan.....it's God's plan and I know he's got my back.

Time Not Wasted

I cannot believe how fast the days have been going. Not just that the girls will be three weeks old on Friday, but also how fast a day goes. I get up around 5:30-6am every morning, help my mom feed the girls, do some studying, make myself some breakfast, get ready and head to school. By the time I get home, it's already afternoon. Logan will be downstairs watching 'Peppa Pig' which is one of his favorite shows, and eating his lunch. Today, my mom did my laundry and made chicken noodle soup for us while I was in class. I love my mom! We feed the girls and put them to bed and then my mom heads home. I get Logan down for his nap at 2pm and if the girls are still asleep, I finally get a little me time which sadly is spent studying or cleaning the house. Vince gets home from work at 2:45pm and hops in the shower. We have an hour to spend together before Logan gets up, which is around 4pm. Since we don't have a lot of time we usually just watch a show we DVRed from the night before. Today we watched 'Pawn Stars'. I wake Logan from his nap because if he sleeps too long he won't go to bed at night at a decent time. The girls are also getting up around this time and need to be changed and fed. I also need to assemble some kind of dinner for the family(as we are running out of leftovers from all the wonderful people who brought us dinner) Once we are finished with dinner I'm usually studying again. Today, I'm working on the muscles for the practical exam that I have next week. Speaking of which, I only have 5 days left of actual classes this semester!! Super exciting!!
Our evening consists of watching NickJr with Logan and playing with his cars, feeding and changing the girls and trying to keep them awake so they sleep more at night. If I'm lucky, I'm able to squeeze a shower somewhere in the evening and by this time it's already 8:30pm and my mom will be here in an hour to help with the girls through the night. I just baffles me that my day is gone that fast. I'm trying not to waste the time that I have, but there doesn't even seem to be enough hours in the day anymore. That is a day in the life of me.

Logan is doing really good with the girls. He seems to have realized that they are here to stay and mommy and daddy still have time for him too. Whenever the girls cry, Logan will run to them and say, "Don't cry, don't cry. It's fine" If the girls are sitting in their bouncers, he will grab their blankets and their pink hats from the hospital and put it on them. He also likes to examine their little hands and fingers. For some reason, this really fascinates him. We also let him hold one of the girls for the first time and he thought it was pretty neat.


I should be studying right now, but I was really getting tired of writing how to palpate all these muscles. Sometimes I really need some me time. My mom sent me an email earlier today and said that two ladies are coming over on Dec. 9 to watch the girls and Logan. I don't have class that day and since there will be two people here, I should take some time for myself. I honestly don't know what to do. What does one do by ones self? Vince won't be home until the afternoon. What do you think?

"Mommy"

When Logan was younger, I could not wait for the day that he would call me mommy. Now there are days I wish I could change my name. I hope I'm not the only mom like that. Every once in a while I just want a break from him and his incessant jabbering. Today is one of those days. I try to lay down for a nap and he comes into the room,

"Mommy! What you doing?"

"Logan, mommy's tired. She wants to go nigh nigh"

"No, mommy!!"

Then he comes over and pulls on my shirt trying to get me up and he won't leave me alone until I finally surrender. By this time the girls have woken up as well and Vince is forced to come up from the basement to help me out. This is just one of the instances today. Right now Logan is downstairs with daddy playing with his cars, but every so often he comes up to check on me, "Mommy, mommy? Mommy" and he continues until I respond.

Yesterday when I mentioned that Logan was such a good big brother, well, we had a little issue yesterday. We were all sitting on the couch with Vince holding Aimee on one side of the couch and me on the other side holding Anna. Logan was sitting on the floor playing with his toys and I was getting up to get Anna a bottle. I set Anna on the cushion between Vince and myself and Logan didn't like that. He got up and said, "No!" and pushed Anna's head to the side trying to push her off the couch. Vince grabbed a hold of Logan's arm before he could actually do any damage and I snatched Anna back into my arms. I have a feeling this is the first of many instances to come. I would post some pictures, but for some reason blogger isn't letting me upload any and I'm not sure if there is another way to post them or not.

New Big Brother

Logan is absolutely in love with his new little sisters. The girls don't sleep particularly well in their crib, but sleep great on the couch. No, I don't leave them alone nor do I fall asleep on the couch with them. I know the risk of SIDS, but I also want my girls to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. Anyway, when I have the girls laying next to me on the couch, Logan will bring over their blankets and cover them up. He likes to rub his cheek on their heads and kiss them. His kissing involves just saying, "Muah muah" He actually learned that from the movie Megamind and now whenever I put him to bed and give him a kiss goodnight, he'll put his mouth on my cheek and say "Muah" Haha, it's better than nothing.

The girls got up every two hours last night. It's rough and I must have forgotten what it was like with Logan. I think most people forget those first few weeks, they all just roll into one blur. The difference with twins is you either wake one up that isn't crying so they eat at the same time or you stagger feed them. Most nights the girls have been getting up together and thankfully my mom has been staying overnight to help. I attempted to breastfeed, but my milk still hasn't come in fully. I try to pump as well to at least give the girls some of the good stuff. Aimee is my slow, steady eater. It takes her thirty minutes to finish two ounces. Anna on the other hand is my speed eater. What takes Aimee thirty minutes, only takes Anna fifteen. When they do stagger feed, I like for Aimee to eat first. My reasoning is if Anna eats first and then I feed Aimee, Anna will have slept for thirty minutes while I was feeding Aimee and that's less time now that I will get to sleep. It's kind of hard to explain, but I understand the logic in my head.

Tomorrow, I go back to school. I've been off for a week and thoroughly enjoyed the time with my girls and Logan. It'll be difficult to leave my girls and I'm kind of in a funk about it. I'm trying not to dwell on it however, as I don't want to get depressed. I've had a fear that I will suffer from postpartum depression since I have a lot going on in my life and feel very overwhelmed at times. I love my girls very much and can never see me not wanting to take care of them, but sometimes life just gets in the way. My mom tells me that even though things are rough right now they will get better and I can do anything for a little while because I know it won't last forever. Once this semester is over, I'll only have three semesters to go. I'm sure I can handle just three more semesters. Plus, I have some wonderful classmates who have been so helpful and supportive through my entire pregnancy. It certainly makes going back to school not as hard as I think it might be.

Here We Go Again

I've caught the blog bug once again. Not only will this keep my family and friends updated but will also help me remember my time with my growing children. I've changed the name and layout but don't really remember how to make it pretty so bear with me until I can figure it out. Time for an update. Vince and I have moved out of Peoria and into a comfortable home in Washington. About the time that we decided to start looking for a new house and also the same time I was accepted into the physical therapy assistant program, we found out I was pregnant. This was a big surprise to us as we had been preventing pregnancy since I was in school and didn't want to bring a child into the world while being so busy. We knew we could make it work somehow so I made an appointment at my OB and went in when I was about 8 weeks along. My midwife was going to do a sonogram to make sure there was a baby there and just happened to mention that last week a mom came in and found out she was expecting twins. The likely hood of the office having two moms expecting twins within in the same month was very slim and statistically didn't happen. I don't know why she mentioned that as I really didn't think it was possible for me to have twins since they don't run in my family. So the sonogram is underway and my midwife is looking for baby and says, "Well, statistics aren't always right.....you're having twins."

Shocked is an understatement. I was handed the sonogram picture and there were indeed two little heads just as she had stated. She had me go to the lab to get blood work done and I pulled out my phone and text Vince. He had teased that when I first found out I was pregnant it was probably twins just to scare me. This is how are texting conversation went. Me: "You were right, it's twins." long pause.........Vince: "What?" Me: "It's freaking twins!!!!" Vince: "We're going to need a bigger house."

The nurse came in and took my blood work, but must have missed the right area because I felt suddenly nauseous. I left the lab and headed to the checkout to make my next appointment. I was also told I would need to see a perinatologist as he deals with high risk pregnancies and twins are high risk. Standing in line to check out and things start to go dark and I feel extremely light headed. The receptionist sees how pale I've become and tells me to come around and sit down and asks if I'm ok. I just said, "I'm having twins." And that is how our story begins.

Fast forward nine months and the day has come for my twins to be born. I was scheduled for a c-section on 11/11/11 at 10:45 am. My nurses were hoping to get me in at 11:11am because they all thought it would be really special, however my OB had another surgery and I didn't end up going into the OR until 11:30am. Backtracking a bit, Vince and I were waiting in our room for the nurses to take me back and it felt like it took forever and the longer we were waiting the more nervous I was getting. The finally came into the room and told Vince to put on his 'space suit' and they would come back for him once I was set up.

I walked back to the OR and they had me sit on the side of the table and bend my back like a cat so the anesthesiologist could put in my spinal. I'd had an epidural with my son and I don't remember it hurting, but maybe it's because I was in so much pain from the contractions that I didn't even notice. This spinal did hurt, but I'm sure my nerves didn't help. They kept telling me not to move and I had this fear that she would miss the spot and I would be paralyzed. Crazy thoughts going through my head. She got it and I was shaking so bad from the nerves. My OB comes in and the nurses tell him that I'm very nervous. He puts his arm around me and says "I'm nervous too" His joking made me feel a little better. The helped me lay on the table and get my legs situated and then the drape was put up. I was having trouble breathing and I threw up. I was given something for my breathing and oxygen in my nose. Vince came in then and I felt so much better with him there. I remember the nurses telling me that my OB would stick me with objects and ask if I could feel them to know if I was totally numb. He never asked, but I started feeling tugging and had no idea what was going on. I heard my baby crying and knew one was out. The next baby was breech and they had Vince sit down because they didn't want him seeing her being pulled out. I guess it looks weird when a baby is pulled out feet first. Both babies were taken to the warmers and I was asked if I wanted to stay awake so I could see my babies or given some sedation. I said I wanted to stay awake. I saw them getting all cleaned up and when the OB started putting me back together, I was given some sedation so I wouldn't feel the tugging and pulling. Next thing I know it's 20 minutes later and everyone is out of the room except for a few nurses who were cleaning me up. I must have lost a lot of blood because they kept saying something about it and that at least I didn't get any blood in my hair.

I was wheeled to recovery and the girls were brought in and I was given the chance to nurse them. It was so amazing having two little girls latched at the same time. I don't know how I'm going to do it by myself once I get home. I was in recovery for an hour and then taken to my regular room where I remain for the remainder of my stay. Some blood was drawn and I was told my hemoglobin was low and there was a possibility of a blood transfusion, but as of right now it sounds like I'll just be on Iron pills for at least the next 6 months. The whole birth was wonderful and the c-section not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'm so happy to finally be able to hold my little girls. Now the fun begins going home and having my 2 year old learn to adjust to his new sisters.

Father's Rights

So, I do a little facebook stalking now and then and sometimes look at Vince's ex's page. Since his son lives with his ex, I just like to see what goes on with them. I'll call her E. So E and her husband live with his mom. They've been living here for a few years, saving up for a house I guess. She recently put up some pictures of a vacation they took to Wisconsin Dells and of the hotel they stayed at. I looked it up and the cheapest room this hotel offers is $200 a night. Why do they splurge on vacations when trying to save for a house? Normally this is none of my business, but Vince pays $84 a week child support. Plus all his tax return money goes to her as well. This year is was over $700. I honestly don't think that this child support goes towards expenses for the child. They live with his mom! What bills do they have? So I asked Vince if he would ever consider giving up his rights to his son. He told me he didn't want to talk about it.
I wouldn't ask this if he was a big part of his son's life, but he's not. He hardly ever sees him. I think the last time he saw him was Logan's bday which was on Feb 24. His son even told Vince that he wasn't his real dad. How can he think that? It's because Vince doesn't see his son. If he's paying child support for a son he never sees why should he contine to be his father? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is just the way I see it.