Working and Not Getting Paid

Going to clinic full time really feels like I'm working for free.  It's a great experience, but it's tough!  I get up at 5:45am Mon-Fri and don't get home until 6:15pm.  It takes about an hour and 10 minutes to get to Le Roy, where my clinic is located.  I'm beat when I get home, which is why I haven't posted any blogs lately.  I've also been majorly slacking on the healthy cooking.  Vince makes the girls scrambled eggs and sausage for breakfast every morning and Logan has sausage and whole wheat toast with raspberry jam.  Today, the girls had oatmeal, but Aimee puked some up throughout the morning.  Not sure why, but she was fine in the afternoon.

We had a family get together today with my extended family on my mom's side.  It's always a good time and today was no exception.  Before we got together my mom collected info on everyone and then made a game where we had to match the description with the person.  Mom made mine up because I forgot to do it and it was 'mirror mirror' because I'm the only one in the family with twins.  I learned lots about my family and it was great fun.  My older brother even showcased his talent of reciting all the Presidents of the United States forward and backward.  We ended the day with a rousing game of catch phrase.  My aunt even gave me and awesome belated wedding present which is gracing our doorstep at this very moment.  I love it!!

In other news, the girls are growing too much and Logan will be 4 years old in a week.  Where has the time gone?  The party planning is underway and I just hope I have the energy come next Saturday for a good party.  I'm exhausted by the end of the week because of clinic.  Logan's presents came in the mail two days ago from Amazon.  We were able to get them at a decent price and free shipping on top of it.  From us, he is getting a Spongebob Lego set, a Spongebob music cd and a Lego game.  Legos and Spongebob are his two favorite things at the moment.  He can't build the Legos yet, but he loves playing with them.

It Begins

Today we started our new way of eating.  The girls usually have sausage every morning, but I always buy the pre-cooked, just heat in the microwave stuff.  No more.  I bought some ground pork and spices and mixed up my own sausage.  I found a recipe online and decided to give it a go.  Mixing it was the easy part.

My bowl of mixed up pork and spices.

I made some fat little patties and cooked them on the stove top.  However, after the first batch, I realized that I shouldn't have made them so fat because it was burning the outside and leaving the inside pink.

Cooking up my sausage patties

I tried making them a little thinner and went at it again.  Same result, burnt outside and pink inside.  Vince told me I need to cook them at a really low temperature and let them cook for awhile.  I don't have time for that what with homework and three little kids running around.  So instead, I made some really flat strips of sausage and cooked them that way.  They got down much faster and weren't burnt.  Horray!!

The burnt sausage

 The strips of sausage that turned out

And this whole process took me all of about 2 1/2 hours.  I didn't think it would take so long and I had test today that I should have studied for last night.  Never got to it, so I studied some this morning.

Aimee had an appointment at the ENT this morning, so I got her up early and made her a lovely breakfast, or that's what I thought.  This is a typical breakfast for the girls.  Scrambled eggs, fruit, sausage and almond milk.  We use almond milk because it has more calcium than regular milk and the girls love the vanilla flavor.  Logan drinks the dark chocolate almond milk or his Pediasure.  

Aimee didn't eat much and I just figured it was because it was early in the morning and she just didn't feel like eating.  When I got home after the appointment, I asked Vince if he had fed Anna and he did.  She threw the sausage on the floor.  This is what she does when she doesn't like something.  Apparently it's too chewy.  So I guess I will be eating the sausage.  All that work for nothing.  Live and learn.  For lunch the kids and I had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with natural peanut butter and some fruit.  Logan, Anna and Aimee also had a cheese stick.  I put dinner in the crock pot and then it was off to school for me.  Test completed, and it was terrible but it's over.   Dinner was Pepper Steak with brown rice.  I didn't cook the rice long enough and it ended up being somewhat chewy.  And we all know what the girls think of chewy food.  They played around with it for awhile and ate some of it.  It actually tasted pretty good.  You can find the recipe here:  Pepper Steak

I'm working on some blueberry muffins for breakfast right now and I'll have to see how those turn out.  Hopefully better than the sausage.

 While I was busy making the sausage, the girls were keeping me company just lounging around on the kitchen floor.  Don't mind the drinks everywhere, sometimes it can take me a few days to put all the groceries away.

Healthy is Expensive

All the kids took a late nap today so we went grocery shopping late tonight.  I got my list all made up for a weeks worth of dinners, some lunches and breakfasts.  I realize now that I did forget a couple of things.  Don't you hate it when you do that?  It took at least an hour to get everything off my list and I still didn't manage to find it all.  Have you ever heard of coconut flour?  I couldn't find it anywhere.  I think I'll have to make a trip to an actual health food store.  Vince of course had to get some of his own food because he won't eat what I make.  After it was all said and done our bill was just over $240, and that's just for a week!  Thank goodness for our EBT, otherwise we couldn't afford to eat like this.  It's easy to see why a majority of the people who live in poverty are overweight.  The food that isn't good for you is cheap and the healthy food is expensive.  If you're trying to feed a family of 5 and you don't have much money of course you are going to go for the cheaper stuff.  Something has got to change.

While we were our shopping I put a Stouffer's Mac N' Cheese with broccoli in the oven and the girls and I ate that when we got home.  Logan wanted nothing to do with it so Vince gave him some of his pulled pork sandwich.  However he didn't want to eat that either since it was messing and got on his hands.  He reminds me so much of my little brother when it comes to food, picky!  Maybe it will change.....  I decided to give the girls some spoons and work on them some more with utensils.  It is very difficult trying to teach two toddlers to eat with a spoon at the same time.  I usually feed them finger food for this reason.  I guess they'll have to learn how to eat with a spoon sometime.  Of course as soon as I let them eat on their own then they hold the spoon in one hand and grab the food with the other.

                                                                              Anna

  

Aimee

The New Bed

Logan's new bed has arrived!!  Vince and his friend Jonathon got home yesterday around 11:10pm.  The girls were in bed, but Logan and I waited up for them.  They left at 3:30pm, so it was a long evening for them, but it was so worth it.  Even after the gas money we ended up paying $200 less than we would have had we bought a new bed.  Plus, the one we were planning on buying was no where near this nice!

Logan was really excited about the bed, he was hoping it was stairs though and not a ladder, but I think he'll be ok.  We even went and picked out a Spongebob bed set and put it on the top bed.  He climbed up pretty good, but then he tried bouncing on the top and hit his head on the ceiling.  After that he wanted nothing more to do with the top bed.  He opted to sleep on the bottom trundle bed instead.  I checked on him later that night and he seemed to be ok.  The next morning the girls were all about his new bed.  They were climbing all over the bottom bed and just sitting there playing with toys and Logan's blankets.

                                                          The girls and Logan's new bed.

Vince, the girls and I went to my SIL baby shower today.  She is looking so cute and she is due on my birthday! :)  She got some great gifts and had some fun trivia questions mixed in.  For example: at what age should you remove a mobile from the crib?...... 5 months old.  Yeah, my girls are 15 months and they still have theirs, haha!  They do like to pull on the little animals though and sometimes it falls into the crib so maybe it's time to take them down.  Plus the batteries in both mobiles are dead and that gives me an excuse not to buy anymore.  The girls were pretty good at the shower for the most part and they really enjoyed the food.

Tomorrow our EBT gets refilled.  I don't like being on government assistance, but we have been living off of chicken nuggets, hot dogs and other junk for the past couple weeks.  I'm going to get my shopping list ready and we are going to start eating healthy.  I'm excited to start this new chapter in my life.  For me, this is a big deal.  I don't want the kids growing up eating junk.  We also are not going to allow soda in the house.  We haven't had soda in the house for the last three months at least and so far so good.  I miss it sometimes, but if we ever go out I do sometimes get a soda.  So let the good eating begin!!

A Change

I have neglected this blog for too long and I apologize.  I really don't have an excuse other than I had other things to do and this was just put to the way side.  Things are going to change.  Logan eats so unhealthy and it's because I got lazy when he was younger and just didn't feel like cooking meals after school and work.  So far, the girls are getting a balanced meal for most every meal.  They still like their fruit and some veggies.

I have decided that we are going to be healthy this year.  I am going to start making healthy meals for everyone.  Vince has already told me he won't eat anything with vegetables and that just means that he will have to make something for himself.  I hope to post every day as to how we are doing.  These are not recipes I have come up with myself.  I have been scouring the web and pinterest to find some good healthy food.  I don't think it will be easy, but this is something I feel I need to do and I'm hoping this blog will hold me accountable.  So here we go!!

The kids are all doing great!  Logan will be 4 yrs old this month.  I can't believe how fast the time flies.  We are doing a Spongebob themed birthday and we already have his presents picked out.  We just need to buy them now.  The girls are walking and getting all over the place.  At least once I day I find them in the bathroom playing in the toilet.  Logan is doing better putting the lid down, but Vince still can't seem to remember to do it.  Probably has something to do with the fact he has been leaving it up all his life and it's a hard habit to break.  They still haven't said any real words.  They may have their own chatter though.  When I get them out of bed after a nap or in the morning, if one of them is still asleep, the other will lean into her crib and start chattering to get her up.  It's very cute. 

Vince is heading to Chicago tonight to get Logan a new bed.  He was getting too big for his toddler bed so we made the decision to buy a new one.  We ventured out yesterday and looked at a few furniture stores and found some we really liked and then I decided to do a search on craigslist.  We found a bed in our price range in Chicago.  Since Logan's room is so small, we are getting him a loft bed.  He'll have to climb a ladder to get up to the top bed and underneath the bed is a dresser and spot for a tv and shelving.  There is also a trundle bed on the very bottom.  It's perfect for his little room.  I haven't seen it in person yet, but Vince should be home in the next few hours and we'll get it all set up.  Better get the girls to bed.

Adventures in Parenting

Today we were outside cleaning off crates and I saw a moth that blended in perfectly with the wooden crate.  I brought Logan over and he had to touch it of course and it flew away.  A couple of seconds later, we saw it get eaten by a bird.  We also saw a stink bug and I told Logan not to step on it because it would be very stinky.  He says, "It's an ucky diaper bug!"  Yes, anything that is stinky is an 'ucky diaper'  If he ever hears anyone fart he says, 'ucky diaper'.  Or if something is stinky, it's an 'ucky diaper'  which is how it becomes an ucky diaper bug.  I wish I could get some of things he does on video and send it in to America's Funniest Videos.

We are still working on the potty training with Logan.  Today he had a couple of accidents, one being a poopy accident.  Or according to Logan, a butt.  For some reason, he calls poop, butt.  It's kinda cute.  Yesterday, he went outside and had taken his off shorts and pullup and was walking around with these around his ankles.  I found him like this and told him he needed to get inside now and he says, "I have a big butt in my pants!"  This means he has a big poopy, which he did.  I think that's why he took them off.  I don't know why he did it outside though.

Sometimes Logan will go to the potty by himself.  Not very often though.  I found him like this a couple of days ago.  I have told Vince so many times to put the lid down!!  Poor Logan was trying to hover.  No, he does not know how to pee standing up yet.






Last night, Logan decided he wanted to wear his bear feet slippers to bed and this is him showing off.  Notice the blue bear in the right corner.  That is a baby toy that I brought up for the girls which used to be his.  He has reclaimed it.  Along with lots of other toys that are way too young for him.

At three years old, Logan is afraid of the dark, ghosts and monsters.  I never wanted my kids to be scared of these because I used to have these kinds of fears when I was a kid.  We never let Logan watch anything scary or violent.  Unfortunately, an older child put these thoughts into his little mind and now he won't sleep with the lights off.  He has a night light and I leave the light on the hallway.  So when he has the lights on, he doesn't go to sleep.  He just plays.  This is greatly messing with his sleep and I don't know what to do.

This is him playing with his Etch a Sketch when he should be sleeping.










The girls are loving their toys now.  It's so fun to watch them.  This is one of their favorites at the moment.  Busy Gears.  You press the button and it lights up, plays music and the gears spin.  They are always pulling it back and forth between them.  Like a tug of war.

They're doing their superman pose.  Kind of.  Oh, and I guess I was wrong about what muscle they're strengthening.  It's more the scapular retractors.  I really need to start studying this summer.  School will be back in session before I know it.

I love this picture.  The Winnie the Pooh is a toy that Vince had when he was a baby.  Logan was playing with Anna and she is loving it. 

  

Even though I never planned for having kids this close together, I'm kind of glad it happened.  Logan loves his little sisters and I don't know if he'll remember his life when they weren't around.




And last, but not least, Anna is either kicking Aimee in the face or Aimee is sucking on Anna's foot.  I'm pretty sure it's the latter.

Oh and we did decide to girl ear splints for the girls as well, which is what you see attached to Aimee's ear.

Mover and the Shaker

Since the girls started moving in my belly, I thought that Aimee was going to be the mover and the shaker.  She flipped and flopped every week.  Sideways, head down, then breach and did it all over again.  I was sure that she would be the one who did most of the moving or at the least the first one.  Anna is moving all over the place.  She isn't crawling and she isn't scooting, but somehow she makes it to other side of the room to play with Logan's toys.  I saw her today going for the package of baby wipes under the ottoman and became very frustrated when she couldn't reach it.  Aimee just rolls back and forth, but that's about it.

When Logan was little it was easy to keep the floor clean because it was just me, Vince and Logan.  I didn't worry too much about him getting little objects into his mouth.  Except for the pieces of carpet he used to pull out and choke on after he tried to eat it.  With the girls though, they have a lot more options of fun things to put in their mouths.  Logan's hotwheels for example.  He probably has 100 hotwheel cars and they always manage to get into the living room where the girls are.  Logan also likes to walk around the living room while he's snacking and drops crumbs everywhere.  It's like a treasure trove to the girls.  Well, Anna anyway.  Unless it's within arms reach, Aimee could care less at this point.  But Anna lifts her little butt in the air and tries to move forward and then lifts her legs and arms off the floor, like superman.  She's strengthening those erector spinae muscles(that's the PTA talking)  I don't quite see how the superman is going to get her across the room, but she always does it.  Aimee sometimes does this too.  I'll have to get a picture and show you, especially when they're doing it at the same time.  It's super cute.  Super cute because it's superman.  I think being awake this late is messing with my mind.

I finished my Eat to Live book and as soon as I can go grocery shopping, I'll be starting.  Vince may have to put up with a long shopping trip because I'm not used to shopping in the healthy area of the grocery store so it could take awhile to find everything.  I really should be getting to sleep.  The girls have been getting up at 5:30 lately which isn't very fun.  Makes for an exhausting day.  Until next time.

Sweet Words

What are the sweetest words your child has said to you?  My favorite is, "I love you."  I've waited three years for Logan to say this to me.  I don't know why it took him so long because I tell him everyday that I love him.  Last night he woke up crying, I went in to check on him and he said,
"I need a drink."  I got him a drink from the kitchen, brought it back to his room and he says, "I love you ,mommy."  I have heard this before, but usually when I say it first.  It was so beautiful and wonderful all at the same time.  This is kind of a sappy post, but this means a lot to me.  Especially since he has not been the easiest child lately.  He constantly wants attention and sometimes I'm not able to give it to him.  I might be dealing with the twins are trying to clean that house, that has been put off for weeks because of life.  When he doesn't get the attention he craves, he acts out.

This summer, Vince and I are hoping to take Logan on a small vacation, no twins allowed.  My parents have agreed to watch the girls a couple nights so we can take Logan, just Logan.  He deserves the time with us and I can't wait to go.  Vince's work is shutting down for two weeks in July.  This happens every year, so we are just going to take the vacation during that shut down.  I've been scouring the internet trying to find a place that a three year old and two parents would enjoy, which doesn't involve St. Louis or Chicago.  We've been to those two places so much, I wanted to see something different.  I think we've settled on Kansas City, MO.  This city recently opened a large aquarium and a Legoland.  It is has amusement parks and a zoo.  This sounds perfect!!  Now, I just need to find a cheap, nice hotel.

The girls are doing wonderful.  They're eating baby food now and it getting it everywhere.  I'd forgotten how messing feeding a baby can be, let alone two babies.  They're constantly sticking their hands in their mouths right after I fed them a spoonful of food.  They blow bubbles and food goes all over.  The bibs don't seem to protect their clothes very well and I'm changing them after almost every feeding.  I'm so thankful we have a washer and dryer in our house.

Anna

Aimee

I myself have already attempted two diets this summer and have failed.  I'm on my third and I'm hoping this is the one.  I haven't actually started, I just got the book, "Eat to Live" by Dr. Fuhrman.  Once I finish reading it, I hope to start soon after.  This is about cutting out lots of animal protein.  Your diet should consist of 90% fruits and vegetables and 10% animal protein.  I'm a little nervous to start, but not only is good for weight loss, it's wonderful for you health in general.  If you have a chance, read this book.  It really makes you look at all the crap you're putting into your body.  What makes it worse is, I'm giving Logan this crap too.  So if this works for me, I'll be trying to change Logan's diet as well.  Little by little of course.

One Year Ago

It's hard for me to believe that one year ago I found out I was having twins. The day before my 26th birthday. Going into the OB/GYN and just expecting to hear that, "yep, your positive home pregnancy test was correct, you are indeed pregnant." Instead hearing that I was pregnant with twins. It just went so fast. My midwife gave me the sono picture, sent me to the lab to get blood drawn and then refers me to a specialist who deals with high risk pregnancies. And then of course almost passing out while I was waiting to check out. I had just been accepted into the physical therapy assistant program at ICC. I knew there was no way that I was giving that up though. I had been trying to get in for two years and with the twins coming, I was really going to need a college education. We were also in the process of looking for a new house. We had to move out of Peoria and fast!

The girls are five months old now and Logan is three. I love my children very much, but they can also get under my skin, but honestly who can say that their kids don't. Logan has been taking a nap the past few days, I'm sure in part due to the fact that he just got over an illness. He won't nap in his bed though, he'll lay on the couch and fall asleep. I think he likes that he can choose where he gets to nap. On May 8, I'm taking Logan in to see a speech therapist. His vocabulary really doesn't seem to be where it should be for his age. I can understand 70% of what he says, the problem is he doesn't have a very extensive vocabulary. I don't know why. I read to him every night, he repeats anything Vince or I say, but yet he can't put a whole sentence together. Like, instead of saying, "I'm hungry," all he says is "eat." Or instead of, "I don't want to go nigh nigh," he says "no nigh nigh." I hope it's nothing too bad and that it can be worked out before he starts preschool.

 The girls are rolling machines now. They haven't started scooting yet, but I can tell Aimee is getting close. Once she's on her belly, she'll stick her butt up in the air and get her legs underneath her like she's ready to push off. Nothing yet though. I'm almost thinking I need to start planning for their birthday already too. What do you do for a twin first birthday party? I have no idea. The only thing I've come up with so far is Thing One and Thing Two from 'Cat in the Hat', but we don't really even read much of Dr. Suess in this house. So I need to come up with something better. Any ideas?

April already?

Wow, my goal was to write in this blog once a week. I guess life just gets in the way.

So things have been going good. Logan is still not potty trained and is just getting over a double ear infection. This is his second go-around, he had an ear infection earlier in March and then got sick again. This medicine seems to be doing the trick this time. He is the most stubborn kid I have ever met. I almost think it would be easier to just keep him in diapers for the rest of his life...joking. But, man am I getting tired of changing three sets of diapers. Vince really is no help when it comes to diaper changing. He refuses to change the girls and will only change Logan's if I beg and plead. What a wonderful husband(says the wife sarcastically).

The girls just turned 5 months old! I cannot believe how fast the time is going. They are almost half a year old, *sniff* :( Aimee has been rolling over from her back to her tummy for about a month now and just started rolling from her tummy to her back. So she is all over the place. Anna just recently rolled from back to tummy. Even though she is the bigger twin, she seems a little behind. I know you aren't supposed to compare twins as twins. They are their own person. But Anna is just a little slower than Aimee. Aimee smiled and laughed first too. I love my little girls. I don't know for sure if they're identical, but they do look a lot alike. In the future, I plan on getting them tested just because when people ask them if they are identical they will be able to tell them for a certainty. If they are identical, I think when the egg split that they each got half of a personality. At 5 months old, they are nothing alike. Anna is SO jealous!! If I pick up Aimee, Anna will cry and fuss. If Aimee is eating, Anna will cry and fuss. Aimee couldn't care less. She is so laid back and she loves to talk.

We recently started them on rice cereal. Just a little bit. Aimee is doing pretty good with it, but Anna is still shoving the cereal out with her tongue so she may not be quite ready yet. Both girls adore their older brother. Whenever he is around, they just smile and coo at him. He seems to like them too, for the most part. He is pretty jealous still. Whenever we go out in public and someone stops us and starts oohing and aahing over the twins, Logan starts to act up. He does this anywhere we go. So if you happen to see us out and about, make sure to include Logan too :)

I will do my absolute best to keep this blog updated with news about the twins and pictures. School will be done in a month so I know for sure I will have time then.

I Wonder

To be completely honest, sometimes I wonder if things would be easier if it was just me and the kids. Don't get me wrong, I love Vince, but sometimes love isn't enough. Yes, I understand he works 10 hour days and is tired when he gets home and has to be in bed by 8pm in order to be up at 3am. He works from 4am-2:30pm. But as soon as he walks in the door he goes downstairs. I tell him he should stay upstairs with me and kids, but he says he likes it downstairs and that me and the kids should come downstairs. Well, the only thing we have downstairs is the laundry room, storage, Vince's video game room and the family room which consists of two couches and a tv. I'd rather not take the kids downstairs just to sit them in front of the tv. I don't know why he doesn't understand that. The only time he comes upstairs is when I yell at him that I need help with the kids. Otherwise, it's just me. The only thing that he is doing for our household is providing an income and he doesn't even make enough to pay the bills thanks to child support and the fact that he only makes $9/hr. He causes me lots of stress because I'm always getting after him about taking care of the kids. I don't want to have to ask for his help, I want him to just help. I go to school, clean the house(when I have time)take care of the kids(he won't change the girls' diapers) and I even make his lunch for him. I haven't been making dinner for awhile because I just don't feel like it. So he makes himself something to eat and then goes back downstairs to do his own thing. Never mind that I have to study some nights. I again have to ask for his help. I don't like to diss on people, but I think Vince's mom did a lot for him growing up. Because now he doesn't want to do anything to help me. He won't clean the house ever. He never empties the garbage can. He doesn't fill, run or empty the dishwasher. He doesn't do laundry. He pretty much doesn't do anything. I don't believe in divorce, but I'm really getting tired of doing everything. I know he loves the kids, but I need that help from him. I don't know....

Back to Work

The time has come for me to start back to work. This Saturday will be my first day back after 12 weeks off. I cannot believe how fast it went. Thankfully though, I will only be working on the weekends so it won't be too bad. I'm also excited that it will be first shift as well, so I will still be able to put Logan to bed every night. We've got a little routine going and the one time I had Vince do it, Logan was very upset. Daddy didn't give him a kiss goodnight and I always do. :) Vince also had this past week off work because CAT shut down half of their line and there wasn't enough for everyone to do, so he stayed home. It will be a little rough without a paycheck next week, but we'll manage.

School will also be starting back up this month too. I received a letter in the mail from ICC telling me that my financial aid was terminated because I've accumulated too many college credits over my college career. My teachers had told us this happens to students every so often. It's because I went to dental hygiene before I started in the physical therapy assistant program and that was quite a few credits. Anyway, my teacher had told us if this happens they can write an appeal letter for us, stating we are in a program and will finish in such a such time and won't be on financial aid forever. I emailed my teacher and she told me that the rules have changed and now when this happens, the only way they can write an appeal is if we have 12 hours or less credit hours to go. Well, I have more than 12 so there is a good chance I won't be able to use financial aid anymore. Which really sucks because now I have no idea how I'm going to pay for college. I hate money. It's so stressful! I'm going to call ICC tomorrow and see if there is anything I can do.

I finally got my potty training book for Logan and just started reading it. I can't wait to get through the whole thing and try to get him peeing and pooping on the potty. I sure hope it works. One thing it did say is that I need to get a doll that wets itself so he can demonstrate to me how one is supposed to sit on the potty to pee. We went to Wal-Mart yesterday and got the doll. Logan loves this thing and says it's his baby. Now I just have to finish the book and we can get started.

The girls are doing wonderful. On New Year's Eve they slept for 5 1/2 hours!! I couldn't believe it. Last night wasn't as good, but hopefully they will start sleeping longer during the night. Anna is still sleeping wonderfully on her tummy, but Aimee hates it. I was able to buy another cradle swing since both girls really seem to like it and usually sleep pretty well in it. Craigslist is an awesome place to find baby items for decent prices. That is where I have found almost everything used for the girls. Except their crib, I found that at a garage sale for $15. I love a deal. I am starting to tell a difference between their cries as well. Anna doesn't sound quite like a newborn anymore and has a shriller cry. Aimee is still my mellow baby. When I'm changing her diaper, she'll just look around and just be content. Anna still cries everytime I change her diaper. Both girls are also in 0-3 month clothes now as well. No cooing or smiling yet, but hopefully soon.

Logan has been a bit of a pain lately. He likes to shriek at the top of his lungs and this always wakes up the girls if they are in the same room as him. I tell him to be quiet because the girls are sleeping, but he continues to do it. Or he'll run onto the couch when I'm holding one of the girls and almost collides with them. I get after him about that too, but all he does is laugh. I've attempted to do time out, but he won't sit there and I have to hold him in his chair. I don't think that's what I'm supposed to be doing though. I want his to sit there on his own. Will he ever learn? I have also started spanking him. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Honestly, having the twins really isn't that difficult right now since they can't really go anywhere. My real issue is Logan. If it wasn't for him, things would be so much easier right now. I love him to death, but sometimes I just wish I could send him to grandma's for a week.

'Back to Sleep'

'Back to Sleep' - This is the phrase used to remind parents to lay their babies on their backs to reduce the risk of SIDS. I always laid Logan on his back and he never had an issue with it, and I felt better knowing my son was that much safer from dying from SIDS. The girls are a different story. Just like I did with Logan, I laid both girls on their back and tucked a blanket into the sides of the cribs that covered them. Anna is my impatient baby and who we are now calling the 'evil twin'. Haha, I love her, but one day Aimee was crying waiting for me to make her bottle and Anna spit out her paci and just smiled. We think she liked hearing her sister so troubled, which is why we are calling her evil. Anyway, it is difficult to make Anna content. My mom suggested I try laying her on her tummy. My mom had done it a couple of nights while she was here and Anna slept like, well, like a baby. I was pretty resistant to at it first, but today I caved. I laid Anna on her tummy and she instantly calmed down and went to sleep. Beautiful silence.

You may think I'm risking my daughter's well being, but you would have to know what I have been dealing with the last few days. There hasn't been a single minute in the last few days that one of the girls has not been fussy. I don't think I've put the girls down to sleep for five minutes before the other one starts crying. I wish I could explain this better so you could understand what it's like. I haven't been able to get any cleaning done, any food made or given Logan any attention at all during the past few days because the girls are demanding our attention. We are constantly holding them since they refuse to calm down. To be completely honest, I'm getting sick of these girls. I just want to leave them in their room and let them cry sometimes. They have changed our lives so much and I just need a break. Everyone says to take a nap while they nap, well that isn't possible with a two year old. I'm exhausted and have just been eating what I can grab, which hasn't been very healthy and I'm gaining some weight. I hate it! At this very moment, Anna is sleeping in her crib laying on her tummy and Vince is sitting next to me watching tv while holding Aimee, who is wide awake. She refuses to go to sleep.

On to happier things, the girls recently had a WIC appointment and Anna is weighing 8lbs 13 oz and is 20 1/4 inches. Aimee is 7lbs 11 oz and 20 inches. Aimee needs to catch up with her sister. I know they are the exact same age, but I think of Anna as the older sister. I'm not sure why. She seems to be a little ahead of Aimee in everything right now. Anna eats more, her cry has changed a little already and she is doing better at holding up her head. I've also started dressing her in 0-3 month clothes, while Aimee is still in newborn. I love them both, but because I've put this mental thought that Anna is older, I tend to be a little more careful with Aimee. I don't know why.

Logan had a good Christmas. He got lots of presents and I'm going to go through all his toys and sell some of his older ones. There is a no reason a two year old needs so many toys. This year hasn't felt very Christmasy to me at all. I think it's because I've been so busy with the girls and I just haven't been able to enjoy the season at all. I'm hoping next year will be better. Both girls are finally asleep and Vince and I are going to watch a movie before the girls wake up, which will probably be in 30 minutes....

The Potty

The potty is my nemesis. I've been trying for a couple weeks now to potty train Logan and he still has yet to even pee in the potty. My thought is if I can just get him to pee in it once and make a huge deal of it, he will be more likely to pee in it again. So from the suggestion of a MoM(mom of multiples) in my twins group, I bought the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day"



I ordered it off of Amazon today and hope to be getting it in a few days. I've heard good things about it and that you can train your child in a few hours. Once I get it and start at it of course I'll let everyone know how it goes. I just can't keep changing three kid's diapers every day.

The girls were pretty good today, but have been sleeping a lot. I have a feeling I may not be getting much sleep tonight. My mom has been coming out every night, except for weekends, since the twins have been born. I need to start managing on my own. So I told her to stay home tonight and also had told her she could stay home this past Monday night. My sister, Ashleigh, said she would like to help me and came on Monday night. Poor girl was so tired the next morning. I think taking care of twins is a very good birth control. I mean, taking care of one baby is difficult. I bet taking care of two would definitely scare some people into stop having sex. So send over your teenagers for an evening, I'd love the help and the teenager might get something out of it too :)

As I'm writing this blog tonight, I'm feeding Anna. I was on yahoo and saw that Wal-Mart pulled their Enfamil Newborn formula off the shelves because a newborn died from a bacteria they may have contracted from the formula. This scares the crap out of me since this is the formula the girls use. When I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to get formula, all their Newborn Enfamil was gone. I just thought it was sold out. I just hope it's wrong and it's not the formula. Maybe the bottle just wasn't cleaned right and bacteria grew on that. Either way, I'm going to hold my girls a little tighter tonight.

Almost Done

School is almost done with this semester and I couldn't be more ready! I have one more final tomorrow and then I have a month off. It's difficult for me to fit in an entire blog post lately and I've been trying to post some of what my days are like on Facebook. The girls turned one month old yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's gone already. That also means in a month they will have their two month shots and I'm not looking forward to that at all.
I'm thinking of changing my name. Logan is constantly saying, "Mommy" even if he doesn't want anything. If I try to get away from him, he follows me. I don't even think "Daddy" is in his vocabulary anymore. I'm getting tired of listening to him and have started yelling at him. I don't like it, but he won't leave me alone. I'm also going to say right off that this blog is going to be blatantly honest. Not only is this blog for my readers but also for me. I want to remember these times with my kids because I know these first couple months will all become a blur. So if I offend someone, sorry, but you've been warned.
My family and friends have been extremely helpful and supportive during this time. My mom is here every night, except the weekends, to help me with my night feedings and sticks around while I'm at school. She has coordinated help for me when she needs someone to help with the girls and Logan while I'm at school. When my mom can't find someone, I ask my cousin, who also works a full time job second shift, and she'll come and help. My family and friends have brought us dinner, one has even brought dinner twice. My former church family(Apostolic Christian) have gotten together and brought me loads of diapers and freezer meals to last us at least a month and they're going to do it again two more times. I can't say the same for Vince's family and friends. His mom and aunt have brought dinner once. His aunt was supposed to come on Saturday to help with the twins since Vince was working and I can't handle all three kids by myself. I messaged her the night before to make sure she was still coming and she said she wasn't feeling good and wasn't going to make it. Likely story. I think that if I hadn't messaged her she wouldn't even have let me know she wasn't coming. His mom has taken Logan a few evenings and his sister is coming later in the week to help me. That's it though. No one else has stepped up to the plate and it really bothers me. Everyone is so excited that there are twins in the family and can't wait to see them, but when they can see that I'm asking for help, I get nothing.
The girls are still getting up 2-3 times a night and it's not together all the time. So if you look at it from each twin, my mom and I are getting up 5-6 times a night some nights. I rarely get a nap during the day because once the girls are finally sleeping, Logan is up. Vince will come home and the twins are up again and I can't expect him to handle all three kids alone. I'm exhausted by 7pm, but I have to keep going and then get up all night again. I don't like hearing people say that they understand how I'm feeling when they don't have twins. They don't understand. That's why I have my Moms of Twins group, they DO understand. I don't know all of the ladies very well in the group yet, but I'm friends with lots of them on facebook. When I post a status about my day and how exhausted I am with the twins, I know the comments they leave are truly heartfelt and they know exactly what I'm going through. So if any of my MoM friends are reading this, you are awesome and all supermoms!!
I had written in a previous post that the twins were a complete surprise and I wasn't planning on getting pregnant while in school. That's why I was on the pill. So when people say that's why they spaced their kids out, I was planning on spacing my kids out. I don't need comments from the peanut gallery telling me I'm an idiot for having three kids under three years old while in school and working. This wasn't my plan.....it's God's plan and I know he's got my back.

Time Not Wasted

I cannot believe how fast the days have been going. Not just that the girls will be three weeks old on Friday, but also how fast a day goes. I get up around 5:30-6am every morning, help my mom feed the girls, do some studying, make myself some breakfast, get ready and head to school. By the time I get home, it's already afternoon. Logan will be downstairs watching 'Peppa Pig' which is one of his favorite shows, and eating his lunch. Today, my mom did my laundry and made chicken noodle soup for us while I was in class. I love my mom! We feed the girls and put them to bed and then my mom heads home. I get Logan down for his nap at 2pm and if the girls are still asleep, I finally get a little me time which sadly is spent studying or cleaning the house. Vince gets home from work at 2:45pm and hops in the shower. We have an hour to spend together before Logan gets up, which is around 4pm. Since we don't have a lot of time we usually just watch a show we DVRed from the night before. Today we watched 'Pawn Stars'. I wake Logan from his nap because if he sleeps too long he won't go to bed at night at a decent time. The girls are also getting up around this time and need to be changed and fed. I also need to assemble some kind of dinner for the family(as we are running out of leftovers from all the wonderful people who brought us dinner) Once we are finished with dinner I'm usually studying again. Today, I'm working on the muscles for the practical exam that I have next week. Speaking of which, I only have 5 days left of actual classes this semester!! Super exciting!!
Our evening consists of watching NickJr with Logan and playing with his cars, feeding and changing the girls and trying to keep them awake so they sleep more at night. If I'm lucky, I'm able to squeeze a shower somewhere in the evening and by this time it's already 8:30pm and my mom will be here in an hour to help with the girls through the night. I just baffles me that my day is gone that fast. I'm trying not to waste the time that I have, but there doesn't even seem to be enough hours in the day anymore. That is a day in the life of me.

Logan is doing really good with the girls. He seems to have realized that they are here to stay and mommy and daddy still have time for him too. Whenever the girls cry, Logan will run to them and say, "Don't cry, don't cry. It's fine" If the girls are sitting in their bouncers, he will grab their blankets and their pink hats from the hospital and put it on them. He also likes to examine their little hands and fingers. For some reason, this really fascinates him. We also let him hold one of the girls for the first time and he thought it was pretty neat.


I should be studying right now, but I was really getting tired of writing how to palpate all these muscles. Sometimes I really need some me time. My mom sent me an email earlier today and said that two ladies are coming over on Dec. 9 to watch the girls and Logan. I don't have class that day and since there will be two people here, I should take some time for myself. I honestly don't know what to do. What does one do by ones self? Vince won't be home until the afternoon. What do you think?

"Mommy"

When Logan was younger, I could not wait for the day that he would call me mommy. Now there are days I wish I could change my name. I hope I'm not the only mom like that. Every once in a while I just want a break from him and his incessant jabbering. Today is one of those days. I try to lay down for a nap and he comes into the room,

"Mommy! What you doing?"

"Logan, mommy's tired. She wants to go nigh nigh"

"No, mommy!!"

Then he comes over and pulls on my shirt trying to get me up and he won't leave me alone until I finally surrender. By this time the girls have woken up as well and Vince is forced to come up from the basement to help me out. This is just one of the instances today. Right now Logan is downstairs with daddy playing with his cars, but every so often he comes up to check on me, "Mommy, mommy? Mommy" and he continues until I respond.

Yesterday when I mentioned that Logan was such a good big brother, well, we had a little issue yesterday. We were all sitting on the couch with Vince holding Aimee on one side of the couch and me on the other side holding Anna. Logan was sitting on the floor playing with his toys and I was getting up to get Anna a bottle. I set Anna on the cushion between Vince and myself and Logan didn't like that. He got up and said, "No!" and pushed Anna's head to the side trying to push her off the couch. Vince grabbed a hold of Logan's arm before he could actually do any damage and I snatched Anna back into my arms. I have a feeling this is the first of many instances to come. I would post some pictures, but for some reason blogger isn't letting me upload any and I'm not sure if there is another way to post them or not.

New Big Brother

Logan is absolutely in love with his new little sisters. The girls don't sleep particularly well in their crib, but sleep great on the couch. No, I don't leave them alone nor do I fall asleep on the couch with them. I know the risk of SIDS, but I also want my girls to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. Anyway, when I have the girls laying next to me on the couch, Logan will bring over their blankets and cover them up. He likes to rub his cheek on their heads and kiss them. His kissing involves just saying, "Muah muah" He actually learned that from the movie Megamind and now whenever I put him to bed and give him a kiss goodnight, he'll put his mouth on my cheek and say "Muah" Haha, it's better than nothing.

The girls got up every two hours last night. It's rough and I must have forgotten what it was like with Logan. I think most people forget those first few weeks, they all just roll into one blur. The difference with twins is you either wake one up that isn't crying so they eat at the same time or you stagger feed them. Most nights the girls have been getting up together and thankfully my mom has been staying overnight to help. I attempted to breastfeed, but my milk still hasn't come in fully. I try to pump as well to at least give the girls some of the good stuff. Aimee is my slow, steady eater. It takes her thirty minutes to finish two ounces. Anna on the other hand is my speed eater. What takes Aimee thirty minutes, only takes Anna fifteen. When they do stagger feed, I like for Aimee to eat first. My reasoning is if Anna eats first and then I feed Aimee, Anna will have slept for thirty minutes while I was feeding Aimee and that's less time now that I will get to sleep. It's kind of hard to explain, but I understand the logic in my head.

Tomorrow, I go back to school. I've been off for a week and thoroughly enjoyed the time with my girls and Logan. It'll be difficult to leave my girls and I'm kind of in a funk about it. I'm trying not to dwell on it however, as I don't want to get depressed. I've had a fear that I will suffer from postpartum depression since I have a lot going on in my life and feel very overwhelmed at times. I love my girls very much and can never see me not wanting to take care of them, but sometimes life just gets in the way. My mom tells me that even though things are rough right now they will get better and I can do anything for a little while because I know it won't last forever. Once this semester is over, I'll only have three semesters to go. I'm sure I can handle just three more semesters. Plus, I have some wonderful classmates who have been so helpful and supportive through my entire pregnancy. It certainly makes going back to school not as hard as I think it might be.

Here We Go Again

I've caught the blog bug once again. Not only will this keep my family and friends updated but will also help me remember my time with my growing children. I've changed the name and layout but don't really remember how to make it pretty so bear with me until I can figure it out. Time for an update. Vince and I have moved out of Peoria and into a comfortable home in Washington. About the time that we decided to start looking for a new house and also the same time I was accepted into the physical therapy assistant program, we found out I was pregnant. This was a big surprise to us as we had been preventing pregnancy since I was in school and didn't want to bring a child into the world while being so busy. We knew we could make it work somehow so I made an appointment at my OB and went in when I was about 8 weeks along. My midwife was going to do a sonogram to make sure there was a baby there and just happened to mention that last week a mom came in and found out she was expecting twins. The likely hood of the office having two moms expecting twins within in the same month was very slim and statistically didn't happen. I don't know why she mentioned that as I really didn't think it was possible for me to have twins since they don't run in my family. So the sonogram is underway and my midwife is looking for baby and says, "Well, statistics aren't always right.....you're having twins."

Shocked is an understatement. I was handed the sonogram picture and there were indeed two little heads just as she had stated. She had me go to the lab to get blood work done and I pulled out my phone and text Vince. He had teased that when I first found out I was pregnant it was probably twins just to scare me. This is how are texting conversation went. Me: "You were right, it's twins." long pause.........Vince: "What?" Me: "It's freaking twins!!!!" Vince: "We're going to need a bigger house."

The nurse came in and took my blood work, but must have missed the right area because I felt suddenly nauseous. I left the lab and headed to the checkout to make my next appointment. I was also told I would need to see a perinatologist as he deals with high risk pregnancies and twins are high risk. Standing in line to check out and things start to go dark and I feel extremely light headed. The receptionist sees how pale I've become and tells me to come around and sit down and asks if I'm ok. I just said, "I'm having twins." And that is how our story begins.

Fast forward nine months and the day has come for my twins to be born. I was scheduled for a c-section on 11/11/11 at 10:45 am. My nurses were hoping to get me in at 11:11am because they all thought it would be really special, however my OB had another surgery and I didn't end up going into the OR until 11:30am. Backtracking a bit, Vince and I were waiting in our room for the nurses to take me back and it felt like it took forever and the longer we were waiting the more nervous I was getting. The finally came into the room and told Vince to put on his 'space suit' and they would come back for him once I was set up.

I walked back to the OR and they had me sit on the side of the table and bend my back like a cat so the anesthesiologist could put in my spinal. I'd had an epidural with my son and I don't remember it hurting, but maybe it's because I was in so much pain from the contractions that I didn't even notice. This spinal did hurt, but I'm sure my nerves didn't help. They kept telling me not to move and I had this fear that she would miss the spot and I would be paralyzed. Crazy thoughts going through my head. She got it and I was shaking so bad from the nerves. My OB comes in and the nurses tell him that I'm very nervous. He puts his arm around me and says "I'm nervous too" His joking made me feel a little better. The helped me lay on the table and get my legs situated and then the drape was put up. I was having trouble breathing and I threw up. I was given something for my breathing and oxygen in my nose. Vince came in then and I felt so much better with him there. I remember the nurses telling me that my OB would stick me with objects and ask if I could feel them to know if I was totally numb. He never asked, but I started feeling tugging and had no idea what was going on. I heard my baby crying and knew one was out. The next baby was breech and they had Vince sit down because they didn't want him seeing her being pulled out. I guess it looks weird when a baby is pulled out feet first. Both babies were taken to the warmers and I was asked if I wanted to stay awake so I could see my babies or given some sedation. I said I wanted to stay awake. I saw them getting all cleaned up and when the OB started putting me back together, I was given some sedation so I wouldn't feel the tugging and pulling. Next thing I know it's 20 minutes later and everyone is out of the room except for a few nurses who were cleaning me up. I must have lost a lot of blood because they kept saying something about it and that at least I didn't get any blood in my hair.

I was wheeled to recovery and the girls were brought in and I was given the chance to nurse them. It was so amazing having two little girls latched at the same time. I don't know how I'm going to do it by myself once I get home. I was in recovery for an hour and then taken to my regular room where I remain for the remainder of my stay. Some blood was drawn and I was told my hemoglobin was low and there was a possibility of a blood transfusion, but as of right now it sounds like I'll just be on Iron pills for at least the next 6 months. The whole birth was wonderful and the c-section not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'm so happy to finally be able to hold my little girls. Now the fun begins going home and having my 2 year old learn to adjust to his new sisters.

Father's Rights

So, I do a little facebook stalking now and then and sometimes look at Vince's ex's page. Since his son lives with his ex, I just like to see what goes on with them. I'll call her E. So E and her husband live with his mom. They've been living here for a few years, saving up for a house I guess. She recently put up some pictures of a vacation they took to Wisconsin Dells and of the hotel they stayed at. I looked it up and the cheapest room this hotel offers is $200 a night. Why do they splurge on vacations when trying to save for a house? Normally this is none of my business, but Vince pays $84 a week child support. Plus all his tax return money goes to her as well. This year is was over $700. I honestly don't think that this child support goes towards expenses for the child. They live with his mom! What bills do they have? So I asked Vince if he would ever consider giving up his rights to his son. He told me he didn't want to talk about it.
I wouldn't ask this if he was a big part of his son's life, but he's not. He hardly ever sees him. I think the last time he saw him was Logan's bday which was on Feb 24. His son even told Vince that he wasn't his real dad. How can he think that? It's because Vince doesn't see his son. If he's paying child support for a son he never sees why should he contine to be his father? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is just the way I see it.